My husband stays out all night drinking with his partners. Advice?

My husband goes out almost every weekend and stays out drinkin gwith his buddies. He will tell me he will be home at a certain time and never shows up. We have a two year old AND I am 4 months pregnant, and it is really becoming ridiculus. Before we got married and started a family, I too would stay out with him, but then I grew up. Now, he had repeatedly promised to change, but never came through. I have kicked him out numerous times, left, you name it. His father was never at home when he was growing up, and he has made the statement that he didi not want to be the same way, but he is. I am not trying to make excuses, I guess I am trying to make sense of the situation. Last year he got a DUI and had to go to jail EVERY weekend for 60 days. He said when he got done he was going to change, well he did for about a month, then off he goes. I am exhausted from staying up worrying and feeling disrespected. Advice please?My husband stays out all night drinking with his partners. Advice?
Him, Him, him, Him...see a pattern?


Where do you fit in?


He will NOT change.


Are you going to live with it, or make a hard plan and take care of yourself and your children?


1 on 1 counselling for you.


Nothing about this will be easy.


Easy is gone, stay or leave.


You know that, I'm sure.My husband stays out all night drinking with his partners. Advice?
You need to attend some AA meetings to help you understand that your husband has a drinking problem and they can also help you figure out how to talk to him to get him to start attending the AA meetings. He has a problem and he doesn't realize it. Drinking and driving sometimes have horrible endings. Help him before its too late. He can't do it on his own. Good luck and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Stock your home refrigerator with fresh beers and tell him to invite his friends over instead. Thus he could get drunk and not worry about transport.
His 'partners'? how do you know he was in jail every weekend? this guy is a player %26amp; he is cheating just like his dad,- through his *** out.
If he really cared for you and the children he would stay home instead of going out..My question for you is he out with friends or other weman ?? He needs help with his drinking or he might not make it home one night alive..You need to put your foot down ask him if he liked it when his dad did it to him and his mom..Go to the extra mile so the young ones have a dady to grow up with ..
give me your number.
wow this is not a good situation he could go out and kill someone driving drunk. he needs to be home more with his wife and child. Why does he drink so much when he has kids? he has a problem. why should you be the one to stay with the kids all the time while he is out drinking. oh i know because you let him get away with this. you don't need this stress you are pregnant. tell him that this is going to stop and give him an ultimatum. he needs to stop drinking. he needs to start loving you and respecting you more but he has a drinking problem and needs lots of help with that. good luck to you and yours. good luck with the new baby coming as well.
In most marriages, people grow apart for various reasons. In many cases, one person changes and the other doesn't. Like you say, you changed in that you have matured. He hasn't.





You need to decide if you believe that he will change or not. And do you want to spend the next 5? 10? 15? years making up your mind.





Get some counselling, talk to friends.





By the way... I grew up with a father who was an alcoholic, and who was emotionally absent. But that does not give me the excuse to be the same. I drink one glass of wine per week, and I am very much there for my kids. I don't buy this popular excuse that just because someone grew up that way, that they will be the same. I don't buy it at all.





Good luck to you.
From your description, it sounds very likely that your husband is an alcoholic. I would strongly suggest that you go to Al-Anon. You will learn that you can have a good life, regardless of what he does.





http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
The only question I would ask my self is.. Is this the life I want my child to see? I hope not. My children saw it for 15 years and I have lost two out of three of my sons now because they blame me for not leaving my then ex husband. My youngest son was six when I finally got the nerve to leave. I blame myself for their destructive ways as young adults and hope one day the realize they don't have to be like their father,


they can be better human beings and loving men to the women the choose to marry. My first son has been married twice and he's only 30, ( she kicked him out after 5 years second wife only after 4 years) Please don't let this happen to you. Get out and get some help. Bring your babies up the way you would like them to grow up as adults and enjoy them for as long as you can. Good luck
Sounds like pre-man syndrome. Usually to scared to actually 'grow-up', hes afraid hes missing something if not out with the lads.





Yet, expects you to sit around with the door open allnight.





Advice, lock the door. And play his own game. If you have a friend, dump the kids on him for the day. And go out shopping with your pal. Dont return till late. And do this on his drinking night. Yep. If he doesnt return the favour.


Then unfortunately, you have bagged a loser.





Start being independant.
He obviously hasn't grown up yet and is being irresponsible by 1) drinking and driving and 2) not being with his family. I can understand having a few with the boys but not to stay out all night. He sounds like he's full of **** with his empty promises so you either need to put your foot down and tell him how it is or tell him leave.
Hey, are you worried that he's just saying with his buddies and is somewhere else or are you worried that something's gonna happen to him because he drinks or both?
I'll take care of you...obviously he doesn;t want too.


I'll treat you like a lady and spoil you. Your husband must be Gay.
I run groups and do counselling for blokes... (have done for 10 years)





Sounds like ';boy stuff'; he hasn't seen the effect of his actions on others. He won't change until something happens to allow him to see the impact on others.


Some blokes don't change until it is all to late


only 3 questions for you....


1. Are you happy


2. Do you ';need'; him?


3. Are you able to be a human being and be yourself too?





let him know how you feel, if you don't feel safe doing it with just you and him, get a mediator in (someone who is there to make sure it is safe). If none of this works, leave him to himself (ie leave him)


Talk to someone for yourself, about you, not him or the kids.


Hope it all works out for you
I have been there and done that. I was with my husband for 18 yrs and I have 3 children. I never accepted it and we fought quite a bit , this was not smart in front of children. I never thought I was codependant but I was , that is until I left three and a half yrs ago. I had to because when we lost our home we had to move up north to live with his family , he was supported and enabled by them even when he got his second dui. I am not advocating divorce or giving up but it is him or your sanity. He has found someone else from his past and I am sure she enables also. I think you need to pray because your decision is not an easy one. When I left I thought he would see things differently and get help and we would be a family again ,it was not to be. Be sure of all decisions.