My husband is infuriating me he won't apologize...advice?

My husband and I were discussing when we could have kids and I was trying to explain to him when I want to start trying and he cut me off and said, ';You've said that a million times before. I get so irritated when you reiterate the same thing over and over. So just stop talking.'; I was completely shocked that he spoke to me like that I started to sulk and four hours later I was still upset and when I told him, ';you shouldnt have done that to me.'; he goes, ';what the hell are you talking about?'; and i told him and he goes, ';well im sorry you took it that way.'; he wouldnt give me a real apology. and I said, ';do you really think its ok to cut me off like that? please tell me what you think i was gonna say'; and he didnt know but he goes, ';if i dont want to hear it, i have the right to say it.'; I am so angry!!!My husband is infuriating me he won't apologize...advice?
Relax, I'm sure he still loves you. I think the underlying reason is because the idea of kids makes him nervous and irritable as it might for a lot of guys. No one's perfect, what he did wasn't that bad either. Could be 1000 x worse. Being sad about it isn't really gonna do you anything.. try having a conversation with him about something totally unrelated.. otherwise the tension between you two might fester and get worse. Just try to be the calm one, it was a small incident that you should try to move passed. Good luck to you. Everything should be fine.My husband is infuriating me he won't apologize...advice?
You were not discussing kids ...you were nattering at him for the 100th time about the subject at an inopportune time. He basically told you in man speak ';shut you trap and leave me alone!';. He also apologized in the only way he could without reopening up the ';discussion'; for the 101st time.


Leave it be for a while (2-3 weeks) then make an appointment, with a time limit, when you can actually discuss the pros and cons. Then make another appointment to discuss the results of each persons thoughts on the process for 2 weeks after that.
You and your husband need to go to counseling so that you can learn to communicate effectively. If he is not willing then go on your own. Otherwise you two are headed directly toward divorce court. Communications is the one thing that relationships can't do without and you two don't have a clue.





Men really do think differently than women. Counseling will teach you both how the other things so you can talk without anger and pain.
your husbands being an a$$ but it sounds like he doesn't want to have kids for some reason, sounds like he feels pretty strongly about it. You guys really need to talk. The only thing you can do is tell him how badly it made you feel when he did that, try not to attack him, just tell him how you feel.
dont beat yourself up! do you really know if he likes you anymore? my mom had the same problem but worse my dad would insult her and she would cry and tell me: dont ever let anyone do this to you, and then leave my room crying, in the morning she would say: men come and go, your family (mom, brother, sister,) never do. hope it helps :(
another arrogant man who is disrespectful. i am shocked.





stick to your guns. it sounds like he was really mean and careless of your feelings.





maybe the topic freaked him out too?





keep talking to him about it. good luck.
You cannot make another human feel or do what you want no matter what you do.Accept his character imperfections and move on.
Let it go. The more you focus on it, the worse it gets.
I would guess he didnt like the sensitive topic. Perhaps the idea of starting a family scares him? But thats no excuse for him to cut you off and be rude about it. Thats not how loving husbands should speak to their wives, particularly when discussing important issues like starting a family.





My husband and I have attended relationship courses (these are NOT counselling, but are instead educational courses for couples) to learn how to communicate effectively and fight fairly, rather than raise our voice or switch off and push each other away in frustration. The courses really helped us to listen to each other and be less argumentative. Im sure if you contacted some relationship counsellors, they could steer you in the right direction. I consider it investment for the future. Good luck.
Your husband was an insensitive jerk and I can't believe all of these women defending his rude/ thoughtless behavior and saying things like it took them years to understand how irritating they were to their men. LOL It's not even about WHEN either of you wants to have kids, it's about his disrespect of you as a person. It sounds like you were excited by what you were talking about and MEN need to understand that a lot of women, the majority I would say, LIKE to talk about things that make them happy, over and over again. I think if a man loves a woman, he finds that charming, just as we do their need to talk less than we do. You need to calmly try and talk the feelings out. If he doesn't apologize, you are never going to forget it and that is when little things become huge things in a marriage, they just fester as my mom would always say. It is possible he can't swallow his pride enough to apologize even though he was rude. Honestly, I'd rethink have kids with him until he can be a little less of an @ss. This doesn't sound like a small thing to me. It sounds like a MAJOR character flaw in him. It is almost like he is enjoying your anger/ hurt. A caring/ loving man would feel bad he had hurt your feelings. You gave him the opportunity to soften his words and he only made it worse with a second insult.
Well ... you may have (probably have) just about worn him out with this.





You don't say if he's agreeable to your time table, but I'd guess he isn't, since you're still discussing it. Ask yourself if you're discussing it, or are you bringing it up over and over and he has little to contribute to the discussion. If that's the case, it's not really a discussion ... it's a monologue.





I agree that it was rude to tell you so bluntly to stop talking, but had he asked you nicely ... more than once? I'm a woman too, and it's taken me many years to understand how irritating we can sometimes be to men. And vise versa, of course. Sometimes we get so focused on our focus, if you will, that we are oblivious to the responses and reactions of others.





Don't draw this out for days demanding an apology. It's not that important. From what you've said it was an unusual response, so that's not the normal way he treats you. Try this: you give him an apology ... tell him you're sorry that you took it so hard. And mean it. And drop it.





Give the family planning talk a rest. It's a different kind of scary for men, this starting a family proposition. Be a little more sensitive to that. He'll think he married the most wonderful, understanding woman in the world. And he did!





Best of luck ... ya'll will do fine, I'm sure.
It sounds to me like your husband is sick and tired of you trying to talk about when to have a baby and you TELLING him. He already knows your feelings on the subject, you've told him a million times and no matter how many ways you say it, it still means the same thing - you are trying to control and tell him when instead of trying to figure it out together. Sounds like he's not ready and you are pushing - am I correct?





He said he was sorry you took it the wrong way. That is more of an apology than most men know how to do. Should he have been so harsh? Nope, but it is a sore subject with him and both of you are over emotional. Let it go and understand the next time you bring up the subject - you will be more considerate to his feelings. Good luck.