HELP! Need advice on my aunt and her abusive husband.?

This is a serious situation, please give SERIOUS answers. | My aunt (who does not speak English) came to the US a little over a year ago. She has a 7 month old daughter and a 15 year old step daughter. My aunt's husband lies, manipulates and scares her on a regular basis. He even want as far as secluding her from the rest of the family. (They live down in the boondocks somewhere.) He keeps saying how he wants to move away from the city and go where NO POLICE are around. RED FLAG?! It's to the point that my aunt has to sneak and call us to ask for simple things like panties, maxi pads and clothes. (He refuses to give her or his daughters [the 15 year old and the baby] ANYTHING.) He constantly make threats to leave her and the kids abandoned and find a new woman and a new life, but he never leaves. We (all family members who know about this situation) keep insisting that she leave him and come stay with a relative. Of course, she makes excuses why she cannot leave. I understand that you ';can lead a horse to water, but cannot make him drink'; and it makes me feel like someone should confront HIM and call him out on his bullsh*t. (I would if I knew the language, personally.) She always tells everyone to ';leave it alone, don't talk to him about it'; and yet she constantly complains about what he doesn't do or how mean he is to her. Is confronting him the right thing to do? Should someone cuss his a** out? Or should we leave it alone and let sh*t blow over? I dunno what to do and its frustrating me because I feel like if something happens to her, everyone who knew about it (and those who speak French) would be blood guilty. (I think people who know about something like this and fail to say anything on it is just as guilty as the one abusing the victim. Am I wrong?) What would YOU do if you were in a situation like this? If you were in a situation like this, what did you do? (If you don't mind sharing.) | Thank you. :)HELP! Need advice on my aunt and her abusive husband.?
Damn I'm sorry you have to go through this my sister went through this except hers was even worse then this situation.





you know what she did? she left.


listen, this man is an ahole and she DOESN'T need him in her life alright, I understand she's new there %26amp; all but she's a woman and you know why women are always holding on the way she is? because women are way stronger then men, men are weaker when it comes to the heart, and I understand she's trying to save her home her family and everything I completely do but you see she doesn't deserve this.








You're there right? you care SO GO AND GET YOUR AUNTIE I'm not kidding, can one man go against like 10 people?





I swear do it, when my bro in law well EX bro in law started doing all this and putting my sister through h`ell my sister was like please enough is enough, and she was in a tougher situation also because we're all here, her mom her dad her sis etc. and shes continents away, but u know what she got up and she called my family back home and demanded for a divorce, she fought and fought even though he screamed and did horrible things he finally left her and now hes in jail cause he did some other stupid stuff.








Your auntie needs to know shes not alone, She feels alone and feels that if she loses this man, everything is going to be ruined, but that's not the case, She'll be free, free to love, to care to be at home not staying afraid.








You're a good person for caring this much about your auntie so do it, take the next step, Get together without her husband talk to her clearly and try to get through to her that being with him is going to get worse and worse, I've seen it and heard it, and trust me it WILL get worse, so get out NOW, so explain to her all the things I just mentioned %26amp; I hope she realizes she's too good for that scumbag and she leaves and if she does you have to be there for her as much as u can, because going through all this is extremely tough, BE THERE, STAND UP cause I know if my auntie was going through this idc how crazy that man is I'd kick him in tha nuts if he dared to make one of my family members cry.








Don't let your auntie your cousins and everyone else suffer, set an example, one person can't change the world but they can sure make a difference, so make that difference, make your auntie understand she doesn't need him and that she's just his damn puppet, he's just a damn loser that I seriously would beat up if I knew him. So please talk to her about it, carefully, think about it, and I hope she leaves him, and if she does, make sure you stay there by her side because divorce is extremely painful and make sure she knows she's one strong woman to bear all that pain. And I REALLY applaud you for caring this much and actually asking what u can do to try and make something happen.








Take Care! :)HELP! Need advice on my aunt and her abusive husband.?
Help the Aunt got assistance and ask legal options
Can you be brief. FACK, I refuse to read these retard questions that are 8 pages long.
someone needs to break his legs. what a piece of work! Of course something should be done!
Tens of Thousands of battered women in this country %26amp; I'm still eating mine plain
I would be really upset and worried ALL the time!





BUT you cannot make her leave, and NOTHING will ever change him. Abusers rarely is EVER change and confronting him may make him amp up his abuse of his wife and children.





She calls, complains and she feels better for a while and you feel worse. Tell her she is welcome to call and you will come and get her, but no more complaining. You will talk about anything other than her nasty H. Don't be her pressure valve.





This sounds mean, but as long as she has an emotional out, it will never get bad enough for her to leave.





If he is a violent man, I am not sure how to prevent anything he does. You just really can't change other adults.





You can be ready when she's ready to get out tho, and let her know she is welcome at any time.
I would call the police immediately upon learning that he'd abused your aunt. Record the results of the abuse with a camera if you can. Let the police deal with it and be prepared to tell them about his history.
well it all depends how old YOU are


if your a young teenager i dont think its good at all to confront him , he could hurt you(he sounds like the man that would do such a thing) i suggest get an older man maybe your father? or someone who speaks his language(the more people the better). what he is doing is horrible and your aunt and cousins dont deserve it. your family needs to talk to him before things get out of hand. if he leaves which is probably best invite your aunt and cousins to live you . welcome them with open arms and tell her this is the right thing to do.





i hope that helps=)


good luck


xox
I think your aunt needs a heart to heart about what she is putting her children through, if he indeed is abusive toward all of them (sometimes we over-exaggerate when we are angry). Ultimately it is up to her, and only she knows the whole truth. When she complains about something again, she needs to be reminded that she has the ability to get away from the situation and protect herself and her children. That's the only thing you can do, because if he is confronted it will just cause even more drama between the family and him- and she may get repercussion.





If he is being physically abusive, she needs to remove herself right away. That is when things get serious and the police need to be called to help.
that's scary and serious all at the same time. my best advice is that one of your family members or relative and a police officer or some type of authority should go to visit her and arrest him before things get serious and out of control.
The first time you see any abuse, or your aunt reports it to you, call the police in the area where she lives and report it to them. They may not investigate the first time, but they should no later than the third time. Your aunt needs to get out of that relationship and take both children with her (even if she is not the legal guardian of the 15 year old girl), but without the police to 'back her up' and to help her get restraining orders in place, she is probably terrified to do so. There are good translators to help her communicate with others available through the police. Call the police the next time she says a word about him doing wrong with or to her or threatening her in any way. Call and call and don't stop calling until you know your aunt and the two children are safe.
I think you should have an adult who is not afraid of the husband to confront him. Depending on what he says, you might have to take action.





If he says he will change and he actually does, then you have nothing to worry about. If he gives a negative response, then get your aunt and children out of the situation. If he continues to harass her, contact the police.





Good luck and I hope I helped!