My husband is more like a roomate. Any advice?

I am really saddened over this. My marriage has turned into everything I didn't want it to be. My husband when we were dating and even newly married paid alot of attention to me. He was romantic, bought me cards, flowers, planned home cooked meals. He was enough to make my girlfriends jelous. Really.





Now? It's three years later, my marriage resembles the relationship of a roomate situation. We go months without having sexual contact. My spouse says he is tired.. he ignores me, gone is the special attention and so is that special feeling I had. I am heart broken. I told my husband this and it's always I am sorry.. and then back to the norm. He is not having any affairs I can assure you of that. He works, comes home and spends all free time with me. So this is NOT it. I have asked him if he is happy and he says yes. He says ';we are married'; that's why things are the way they are.





I AM NOT happy. I asked him to evaluate things, and I am considering a weekend away to clear my head. Suggesitons?My husband is more like a roomate. Any advice?
If you are not happy, that needs to be a priority to your husband. Going months without sexual contact is not typical for most couples, and it does not sound ok with you. You have to WORK at any relationship, and it sounds like that he is not making an effort (or one that makes a difference to you). If he does not respond, you need to seek out a marriage counselor. Go to AAMFT.org and find a marriage therapist in your area. Marital therapy is much cheaper than a divorce, and this sounds like it was once a solid relationship. A therapist can really help you find your way back to intimacy. If he won't go that is important information for you, and you need to go yourself and look at getting your needs met. Good luck, you sound pretty miserable. I'm sorry you're suffering.My husband is more like a roomate. Any advice?
Widget, instead of you taking some time off to clear your mind, you should plan a vacation with your husband %26amp; both of you could take some time to get your marriage back to the way it was. Somtimes work %26amp; stress get in the way of relationship. You both need a vacation to help spice things up.
Have you said or done anything...like during arguments, to belittle him or criticize him too much ? First, examine yourself and then the relationship and all aspects of it. What has made these walls come up between you two ? Is there some underlying resentment ? But sometimes things just get less exciting after you've been together a while. It is just natural for it not to be so intense after time. The mystery is gone...this is sad and I wish there were a way to keep the magic forever. Wouldn't that be nice ?? Otherwise, if two people want things to spice up again...they will make it happen. If the love and interest is still hidden underneath the monotony, you'll find your way back to romance. Good luck !
maybe there is something physically wrong with him or he is depressed you haven't been married long enough for this to be going on.but if you are wanting to save your marriage do not take a weekend away maybe the both of you could go away together so you can get away from everything and act like newly weds there has to be something going on with him get him to go to a dr and get a complete workup go with him tell the dr. what is going on make sure he's not sick or depressed and don't give up
Read the book ';the love dare'; and ';the five love languages'; - saved my life.
wow we are twins, my hubby is the same exact way. i just posted a question about it. although i dont really know why it has gotten this way for us, i at least feel your pain. i feel bad sometimes cuz i want to get away myself for a few days like you. but i know if i did it might make it worse. i love my hubby but dont know how to get him to be more romantic. wish i was more help to ya. keep your head up. hope it all works out.
Maybe some counseling will help the two of you. When he comes home from work and spends all free time with you, try watching the movie Fire Proof. It will help you both and inspire y'all. I hope things get back to normal. Good luck.
Your husband has turned inwards because he knows that there will never be any more chances to get to know another woman in his lifetime, as long as he is married to you.





Only a woman with a lot of imagination, being attuned to his wants and needs has ANY chance of keeping a marriage like this vibrant.





Maybe some self-inspection is due, perhaps you just got too fat and it killed his libido.
you both need professional marriage counseling
It's unfortunate that some times peoples feeling change during the course of a marriage. If he is insisting that everything is fine then I would suggest seeking a marriage counselor.





The weekend away to clear your head doesn't sound like a bad idea. Maybe you being gone will cause him to miss you and realize that he wants more out of the relationship as well.





Just being married is not a reason for the intimacy to end and could be a sign of another problem.





Not to be negative but it's never impossible for a man to be cheating. If he wants to he will find a way.





Kim
After you've been married awhile the ';romantic'; extras just wear off... it happens.


It's real life!


As long as he comes through on the special days for you, you can't expect every day to be like your ';newlywed'; phase.


As far as the frequency of sex... try initiating more, being more playful, stuff like that.


If none of that works maybe get a check-up for him.


Some guys are LowT and need a boost: just a fact.


Good luck, Sweetie!!


xoxoxoxo