If he confessed, then thats good. Better to confess than have you find out. It shows he has a conscience and felt real remorse for it, or else he would have kept it to himself. I think that now that you are talking kids, he had to confess this because its a big change in lifestyle. Sure he kept it from you for 5 years, but its never too late to tell the truth. I think that you should be fair- you have every right to feel hurt, but you cannot also hold something he did 5 years ago against him as much as you would if he did it recently. Cheating is never something to condone, but it sounds like this could work for you. You need him to know that its not acceptable to do this again, regardless of the circumstances. And you need to realize that if you stay with him, you cannot continually punish him for something he did 5 years ago. You dont know that he wont do it again, just like he does not know you wont hold it against him forever. Its a chance, but if you love this man then work it out. Maybe see a counselor if it will bother you, but think about your marriage before he told you this...Was it happy, functional? If so, then I think you should work this out. If it was bumpy or dysfunctional, think about counseling before you add to it with kids.My husband confessed he cheated on me...some advice?
What was his motivation to tell you so long after it happened? Everything was fine and then he cleared his conscience for no seemingly good reason. Have a good conversation with him and forgive him. Obviously it's bothered him so bad he felt compelled to come clean with it so therefore won't likely do it again. What baffles me is why he mentioned it. He really should have carried the secret to his grave when it serves no purpose but to confuse you this long after. Give him a chance since he has such a sorry conscience.
This would crush me. I think it would bother me more that for five years he could look me in the face and lie to me. Everyone feels differently about cheating and if you should take somene back after this.
I guess what I would ask myself is this your husband's character? Has your marriage been good otherwise? If so, do you want to throw it away ever one incident?
Next, if you stay, do you feel you can still trust your husband? Answer these questions for yourself and it should help you decide what you want to do.
Juice it for all its worth.
Make him feel bad about it, buy you a new bag or some jewelry and then move on.
A one night stand, six months into a 5 1/2 year relationship. We all should be that faithful.
Give him a pass.
I wouldn't worry too much about it, it was just a nightstand. When he gets to seriously big furniture like sofas or dining tables, then I would start to worry.
He has been lying to you for 5 long years. I think that is worse than the actual cheating itself which is still unforgivable.
D
I
V
O
R
C
E
counseling.
let it go.
I agree with Bella, he waited 5 years to say something. I am guessing that because you have decided to start a family is part of the reason why, but here is something else that is troubling me about this if he confessed about this so long after the fact what else life altering does he have hidden from you. When I found out mine cheated it had only been a couple of months and I wanted to beat the sh-t out of him, 5 years would have probably seen me in jail. I would have thought about all the times he looked me right in my face and lied all the times we discussed things of this nature and he never said a word, not to mention the trust he was given and destroyed. If you believe him get counseling before you have his kids, cause my kids saw me go off a few times it couldn't be helped.
No comments:
Post a Comment