Does anyone have any advice on how to get my husband to get his grown son to move out?

My stepson came to live with us about six months ago. It is the first time he has had a relationship with his father in 10 years. Biological mom alienated his two sons. In those 10 years, I have been called every name in the book by the biological mother and the two sons. They have even admitted to vandalizing my new car several years back. He has been institutionalized twice. He tells us its ';Unknown'; what is mentally wrong with him. He is 25 and still working on his bachelor's. This is his seventh season trying. He starts to work a job and then quits because he can rely on his SSI check. He is quite capable of working and he should not be supported by our Government. He stays in the house all the time except for school. Has very little friends. When his father is not there, he has been known to scream at me and give me such an evil look it sends shivers down my spine. He contributes very little to the household - expense wise and expects dinner on the table every night. He never gives us any privacy. We go into a room, he follows. He rolls his eyes and huffs at me if my husband and I are not preparing anything for dinner that night. The main thing is I have told my husband how afraid I am of his son (He recently had a fist fight with his mother and slapped her). She is a pyschologist and he's trying to studying psycology in school. Help any advice will help. We have already tried counseling and my husband still would not take off his blinders regarding this 25 year old man. He is enabling him to be a child for the rest of his lifeDoes anyone have any advice on how to get my husband to get his grown son to move out?
I wish I had better news for you, but I don't. Your step son is only 25. That means he's got a lot more years of making your life miserable ahead of him. Someone recently posted a question about what causes 2nd marriages to break up. I responded that it is most often due to step children. It's been my experience in over 20 years as a family counselor. I believe my response got a lot of negative votes. Of course, YA is frequented by a lot of people who don't have a lot of life experience from any other perspective than their own.





Your husband is suffering from a guilty conscious. His ex may be responsible for the relationship he's had with his son over the past 10 years, but your husband believes it is his job to mend it... by any means possible. The unfortunate thing is your step son is using that guilt to take advantage of his father, you, and the situation. There really isn't anything you can do but either accept it, or leave it. I've seen couples in very similar situations. One cries, begs, and pleads. The other often does nothing to change it. Sometimes the couple will stay together for a while. On occasion, until the child(ren) have grown and left the home. Then they divorce. The step parent spouse usually ends up feeling slighted, and unloved. It's hard to get past being married to someone who lets someone else treat them that way and those feelings are hard to overcome. I have no idea what you can do legally, other than file for divorce. Often there is a feeling that if the couple were to split, it's allowing the ex to control their relationship, or win and long standing attempt to break the new marriage up. Trust me, no one who's mind is that twisted could ever be considered a winner.





The police aren't going to remove him from your house simply because you say he makes you feel threatened. Certainly not if your husband disagrees. Even if you managed to videotape his behavior, your husband is still going to take his son's side, and you will find yourself 'the outsider'. I'm completely unaware of any lawyer being able to have a adult child removed from a home. I did have one couple where the step parent was the sole owner of the home and had the adult step child legally evicted. Unfortunately, the biological parent moved with them so they could continue to support them.





Unfortunately, like a lot of other 2nd marriages, with difficult step children, your marriage is likely to end in divorce. I suggest you start planning your way out of this mess. Talking with a lawyer is probably a very good idea. Just make sure it's a good divorce lawyer.Does anyone have any advice on how to get my husband to get his grown son to move out?
I agree with Ron D. You need to tell your husband that his psycho offspring frightens you and that he has to make a choice. I'm not saying to dump the kid on the street; help him find affordable, subsidized housing, then help him move into it. You shouldn't be afraid to be in your own home!
Your husband is not doing his son any favors by supporting him. At 25 he needs to be on his own. Taking care of him in this way is cripping him. Give them both 30 days notice. Either he goes or you go. Then do it.
You have a mental case in your house that is why his mom don't want to deal with him, can you send him back to his mom house,you cant just kick him out or can you....tough deal you're in....
Move out.





';Your son stay if that is what you truly want, but I do not have to live with him.';
I'd tell your husband either his son leaves or your leaving. See an attorney first consultations are usually free.
umm put his xbox out side, then when he's outside change the locks.
Sounds like it's about time to tell him ';either he goes or I go';.
considering all the lost years dad wasn't there he probably feels he should let son get away with anything.. that's no good, the child will never grow and never learn right from wrong..


if he wants to be there and be a good dad he needs to start teaching that boy some manners and rules..


anywho if i were you and i couldn't take it anymore.. it'd be me or him got to go.. i'm not gonna fight for his attn if he can't make up his mind..
then you have one thing to do.you need to set down with your husband and give him some thing to think about like you living him make him to open his eyes to what is going on there when he's gone.and if that dose not get him to open he's eyes then live.i bet that well get his eyes open then.your husband dose not wont to be live that his son is doing wrong and that's why he not saying any thing to him.you got to get him to understand that you are not trying to be mean to him you just wont him to take control over his boy.and i think he needs to do so.be for thing get out of hand.he needs to know that.so do what you got to do to get him to see that ok.that's the best thing i can tell you.i hope that you get your problem fix soon.your friend fred