I need some advice please... Should I leave my husband?

I have been married for almost 6 years. Im 24 and he is 26. We have two young daughters: 3 %26amp; 5. The whole time we have been married he has cheated, numerous of times and the worst part is once it was with my sister for 8 months. and the last time was last August a weekend fling and the other woman lied and claimed she was pregnant and wasnt... He also is very abusive, mental..physical..and verbal... mainly the verbal and thats practically an every day thing... calling me every name in the book... even at times infront of our children... I love him. but not inlove.. theres a huge difference... We married young and we have even talked about divorce several of times and that we would be better off as friends... but for some reason we keep holding on... We just moved from SDakota to FL in november and I am alone here with no family.. Just his... We are staying with his dad and its a night mare... I feel so unwanted. and as if Im an outcast... (im white and he is Jamaican) so a huge cultural difference there... His dad doesnt really like me and I can tell by his actions...





I cry every day almost because I want out and cant stand being mistreated.. I have an opportunity to leave without him knowing next month... but I need to wait til after we file bankruptcy.. (long story)





I have recently begun to talk to a guy I met 8 years ago... he recently divorced a year ago and also has 2 children same ages as mine... We want to be together and we have so much in common... He knows my circumstances and wants me out.. says its not a good situation for my kids and I.. and we both are developing feelings for each other... He is willing to fly down here from SD. and bring us back home... he says im a dream come true... and wants us to be a family and treat me with the respect that I and the kids deserve... and I trust him... The only thing that Im scared of is leaving... its a huge change... and I know Ill be happy and safer.... My whole family wants me back home because they have seen the bruises on me before.. and heard the stories... also my husband was in jail last year for choking me and beating up my 19 yr old brother.... my brother steped in as he was choking me... and it was a mess...





like I said I still love him at times... but its not inlove feelings... I look at my husband with anger and pain and 90% of me wants out... I need some advice PLEASE!!!!!!





Also like I said before Im waiting to file bankruptcy... we are in the process of foreclosure in SD. and have delinquent/charged off credit cards, and medical bills.. and a repoed car from January... He has messed up my life... If I knew I would be ok to wait and file bankruptcy at a later date I would leave ASAP... but I have a judgement against me on a medical bill... so I think the smart thing would be to stay here and wait it out til after bankruptcy....





I WANT TRUE ADVICE!!! and please no degrading me... I hear it everyday from him and cant take it anymore.... SO PLEASE HELP ME!I need some advice please... Should I leave my husband?
Yes, he is abusive and he is not treating you the way you deserve. Please find the courage to leave, you and your kids deserve so much.I need some advice please... Should I leave my husband?
For the sake of your childrens safety and well being, and your own well being, leave him. But whatever you do, dont leave him for this other man, leave him for the right reasons.
You need to get out of this marriage. It is hurting you physically and mentally and it isnt worth it.





You are also only 24 and have your whole life ahead of you.





GET OUT NOW.
leave him and get your children out of this home life. you could leave and postpone the actual court papers until after the dev.
Oh please! The first time he cheated you should of divorced him then. Live and learn. Divorce him now!
Instead of sitting on there typing this out you should be packing his bags for him!!
pray ask god for an answer I think you know what you are doing. Your own advice is the best advice. Good luck be safe
no one can tell you what to do, my advice would be make a clean break and move on. if he is cheating and more than once why would u want to stay. Respect yourself you can find a better man!
You are basically in a marriage from hell and you need out right away. Now I warn you, it feels like you are walking on shifting sands. Watch out, keep your wits around you, walk like a tigress, be aware. Sounds like danger is around you and your children. Trust no one, not even the good samaritan of eight years. Is he going to help you financially? Plan first your financial options. Ask for help from your family and crunch the numbers carefully. You need to fall on your feet again. You need to be extra cautious. I have been in your situation. Had to get out of an abusive relationship and recover financially. It was tough but it was worth it. You need out NOW. That man is not only a helpless cheater. He is EVIL and he has power over you. GET OUT, do not wait for bankrupcy, or ask a lawyer if that would make a difference and what are your real options. You are going to need big time counselling once you are out. God help you, Woman, and may he give you strength, for you have tough times ahead of you, times when you are going to have to prove yourself and fight for your children. But take it as a chance to check the strength of your wings, stretch them and fly away, and once you are out, let NO ONE EVER HURT YOU LIKE THAT AGAIN.
The bankruptcy is only a minor issue. That can be handled anywhere you live with about the same outcome. Don't be embarrassed about it. You are not the only one going through it. My advice would be to have the guy fly down as soon as possible and get you and the kids. Be glad you have someone willing to help. Get away from that abusive COWARD. The sooner the better.....
Young Lady/Mom,





I respect your effort in staying with this guy and loving him even though there is none from him. I also understand that he abused you a lot and you do not deserve that as well as any other person in the world. No One was born for being beaten or taken their rights away by those they love and gave their hearts. However, this is my best advise, you are grown up now and you know how life can turn around and become something nasty you never expected in you entire life. marriage can become a center of evil and and all demons will live among you until someone gets hurt and or quit! So, the best shot you have here, is to walk away with your kids, DO NOT LEAVE you KIDS with this guy. Do whatever you can to keep their custody and may be allow him a some visits. Now, you will have to file for divorce as soon as you decide to leave him and have enough evedence of abuse to make your case. Then move on and try to forget him. BUT...BUT...stay with your family (relatives), DO NOT MOVE IN WITH THIS OTHER GUY YOU MENTIONED for 8yrs ago. NO and NO. Period! You could find yourself into a huge mess you have ever been thru. I'm a man and married for 8 yrs, and I can tell you that sometimes some men will catch you from your weak angle and try to absorb you and make you feel that you are going to heaven, and that they will give you all you deserve and missed from you ex,if you leave your abusive husband and move on with them. LIES! I don't buy that! Get out your marriage for the sake of yourself and your kids. Create/generate your own happiness and rebuild your life around your relatives. Start something new to support your kids and do not look back, stay strong and live a clean and glorious life, then start new relationships by then. If this guy you talked about wants to wait until then, then he will be the one, but if he pushes you to move in with him right away...then there is a catch. Besides that, DO NOT stop praying and stay connected with the Lord, and never judge Why all that happened to you...but be thankful for who you are and what you have at this moment and you will be happy as you never dreamed!





God Bless and Good Luck.
The safety of your children comes first. If you can't leave for yourself, leave for them. You have acknowledged that he has not 7 will not changed, and that the situation has only become worse.





Waiting until you file bankruptcy or the case is accepted is only an excuse, and you know it. Be strong for your children, so that they can have a mother who can provided and love them.





Use your resources, family, friends, church, community centers %26amp; organizations. Can you talk to your side of your family and let them know you need their support? Often times, you may think they won't, but when you left them know the severity of the situation and your true intentions to change the situation, they should be there to help you.
get out now and run as fast as you can you can file bankruptcy on your own! the fact he layed a hand on you is all i have to hear to say divorce his sorry a++ and do it now.
You can file bankruptcy without him , your safety is more important , it sounds like you should have left him a long time ago , as far as the other guy , don't jump from one relationship into another , even if the guy is nice , and he has children , even the nicest people are going to take their children's side in a conflict , give yourself some time to get over this last relationship , and to get yourself mentally stable , just concentrate on your children %26amp; yourself for a while , go back where you have family to help you , go back to school for job training , do this for yourself . I wish you well.
You have to get out of this marriage now.


It is hurting you,and your children should not grow up in that kind of home. Your 24,you have your whole life ahead of you.The best thing for you to do for yourself and the well-being of your children is to GET OUT NOW.
I believe you are very confused and hurt. I think you should look for help in a church (they don't charge) or a counselor. I don't think it's a good idea for you to get involved in another relationship. You have to think about your daughters, with so many molesters out there. So please for your sake and your daughters leave him file a divorce and press charges so you can protect yourselves.


Shalom