Saturday, July 31, 2010

I'm seperating from my husband & moving in with my mom... any advice or encouragement?

long story short, my husband has problems, some of which have lead us to lose the house %26amp; everything. my credit is ruined because of this, and i'm also unemployed, so i have no choice but to take my 1yr old %26amp; go live with my mom. my husband isn't welcome there because of what he did, and doesn't want to live there anyway. he's got no where to go and not much of a plan. i have tried to encourage him to go into job corps so he can get a good job eventually %26amp; provide for our daughter, but he has grand plans to work at Thrillville this summer so he can go on the rides for free. (i know, i picked a great one. *kicks self*)





anyhow, my mom %26amp; i don't get along that great, my husband is borderline paranoid, and i have to file for bankruptcy, go back to school, and be a single mom and i'm a bit overwhelmed....





anyone have any general advise? either about dealing with a deadbeat hubby or moving back in with a parent or whatever...





thanks!!I'm seperating from my husband %26amp; moving in with my mom... any advice or encouragement?
Get a DivorceI'm seperating from my husband %26amp; moving in with my mom... any advice or encouragement?
Sorry you are in this situation. You know you will have to get a job of some kind once you get settled with your mom. But in the meantime, sit down with your mom and make some rules for living with her. Remember that it is HER home and you need to respect her wishes, so come to some solutions you can both live with. It may not be so easy, but if you both compromise, it can work.
ive never been there, but it sounds like he put you through hell. in the short term, even if you feel like you are going through a really tough time, you will come out of it, and you will be a better person for it.





you are doing a good thing for you and your daughter. it is better that she have no father around than that she grow up thinking that fighting, yelling, whatever, is normal for a relationship.





good luck, chickie! :)
File for divorce so you can at least get custody settled. Without a court ordered decree he can pick up the baby anytime and not bring her back until you file for her in court. So dodge that bullet right away.
I am sorry for you. That is sad. Good luck. When you eventually start to date again you will know what to avoid.
hang in there and learn from ones' mistake.





good luck
First, thank your mom for letting you move back in with her and your baby. Tell her how you much you love her and appreciate her in your life during this stressful time.


As for your husband, I suggest not contacting him until he gets his act together. If he sends money for child support ( I have a bad feeling he won't ) make sure it goes into a bank account for any health emergencies that might occur.


For the money problems, start with a part time job, and work your way up. Times are going to be stressful, but remember you have a mother who loves you no matter what, a little bundle of joy who sees the sun rise and set on you, and a heart that knows it deserves better. Give it time and patience, things will get better eventually.
Despite money being tight, handle your business legally. DON'T go by word of mouth promises he makes.





You'll want to talk to an attorney about 1) A Disso (I would strongly suggest one) and 2) Filing a BK. (you want to see if it would really be helpful of if it would hinder your situation)





You may not get along great with your mom, but she's being there for you when you really need her. Try to get along, help around the house, and generally try to appreciate anything/everything she's doing to help (even if it's little to nothing). I think you'll find that if you're positive and helpful at her house, it will be better for everyone there.





Be strong and be prepared to have a FULL plate: You'll have a child to care for, homework to do, and likely a job to help pay bills. %26gt;DO NOT%26lt; quit school once you start. It's the only thing that will help you change your sitation. Remember, if you don't do anything different this year, how on earth can you expect your situation to change next year?





Please, whatever you do: 1) Don't go crawling back to the loser, and 2) Be more selective in future mates. Don't be afraid to date someone a long time. If a guy is serious about you, he won't be in a rush to get you in bed. If he's just a player or loser, he'll move on for easier game and you won't be 0 for 2 in the marriage game.





Good luck.
you have to be strong for your baby becuase you are a responsible mom.





if he goes to thrillville for a free ride and don't sent money for his baby...then file a child support lawsuit. he lost job and wanna go to dreamville maybe he thought he had enough of being a good decent guy and wanna be childish about it. I don't think you have that luxury.





mom and dauther 50% not get along but I'm sure she love you same as you love your baby... maybe when she's adult, she will think the same way with her mom but I'm sure it won't make you love her less.





file for bankruptcy, go back to school, and be a single mom ... you can do it... you are not alone (so many of my friends lost job or their husband lost job)





things can't be any worst (you cover all bad arrow checklist already) ... and like I always say when we are at the bottom already (hell), you can ONLY LOOK UP (heaven)





keep your hopes up...that what will keep you going

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