Please help with advice. What is wrong with my husband, bad temper, threats, mood swings........or is it me?

I've been with my husband for 4 years and will be married for 1 year this June. His personality has always been very high strung with anxiety. He's been taking Lexapro since I've known him. We've had normal fights, arguements but I am so confused right now. His anxiety is so bad that it is affecting me. I think I am developing anxiety being around him. I'm feeling depressed. He is getting mad at everything. He calls me very VERY nasty names when he gets mad. Threatens to divorce me. We both have children that aren't with each other. He has been saying that him and his son would have more if me and my ';baggage were gone';. His son doesn't live with us and we pay child support and get him every other weekend. But he turns everything into a competition with our kids. I think he's looking for things to pick fights over but I can't forget the words he always says to me. As of right now he wants a divorce. The arguement started 2 days ago over something small that I did to piss him off but now it's turned into divorce. He won't answer his phone, says it's none of my business where he is at, I'm not his wife anymore,says he doesn't love me, he is sick of me, etc...........I'm convinced he is just trying to find a way out of the marraige. I also think he might be bipolar or have a very severe anxiety disorder or something. He's done this before and a few days later he was fine. By the way his entire family is freaking crazy. Any advice would help, I think I am going crazy too. I know I'm not a saint but I don't deserve this unless I really have caused him to hate me this muchPlease help with advice. What is wrong with my husband, bad temper, threats, mood swings........or is it me?
I understand how you feel. I think you`ve hit the nail on the head with the bipolar. Give him some time to reflect on the situation and he`ll be more willing to talk, but it may be time to reevaluate his condition and medicate accordingly. This situation could go either way depending on how much you`re willing to tolerate. GOD BLESS!Please help with advice. What is wrong with my husband, bad temper, threats, mood swings........or is it me?
He sounds bi-polar and narcissistic. I would run, not walk, and get as far from this abusive person as you can for your own mental health.
I don't want to sound harsh but it might be that he is jus tired of the relationship. He maybe going through something because we all do.
Is there any chance he's off his meds? That sounds to me like the most likely answer.
DIVORCE!!!!!! NOW!!!!!
don't walk, RUN to the nearest divorce court. if not for you then for your son
Get away from him!
you had three years to know he was like this and married him anyway? You deserve what you have then!
have him go back to the doc might have something to do with his meds, if that is not the trouble that is causing him to act this way then you should ask yourself if you care to put up with this sort of treatment from anyone much less someone that was supposed to love you enough to marry you if the answer to that is no then let him have his divorce
GIRL YOU NEED TO RUN NOT WALK RUN AWAY





he is very unsteady and treating you very wrong





what you need to do is stop think of yourself right now and your son and leave go some where any where but stay strong you can do this


he is a jerk and its only going to get worse and the one that is Truly hurting is your son it must hurt to see his mom treated this way you both deserve better sweetie good luck and don't give in be a strong woman that is the only thing that is going to get you past this
man - i spent 2 years with a guy like this. he had hyperthyroid - they nuked his thyroid, and it died and he got hypo. they put him on pills - he was better for a month...then back to the bipolar stuff - picking fights with me for whistling too much, or opening the dishwasher door too many times...or being too chipper in the mornings etc...





it got worse and worse - the name calling, the i'm leaving, the i don't cares...always turned his problems onto me etc. happy one second, psycho the next. had to leave him.





yeah - we aren't perfect, but nothing will work when one person of 2 has this issue - be it thyroid, bipolar, manic etc. that has to get fixed first. sounds like you have a medical case on your hands, and the anti anxiety meds wont fix a chemical imbalance. try to get him to see a doc and get some blood work. Good luck - i feel for you!
If he is bipolar, which he sounds like he is, just get out before it's gets worse. You say his whole family is crazy, they just may be, seriously. He will just make your life miserable and you are already feeling like your going crazy as it is. Your kids will resent you for staying with him if he is also abusive to them.





I was married to a bipolar man and after 5 looooong years of roller coaster rides, he committed suicide and we had 1 son together and I had 3 sons from a previous marriage. Now that he's gone, my sons finally have a chance at a normal life that they would not have had if he stayed around.





Good luck to you.





Mary in Camden, MI





Just read your additional details, boy, he sounds like a bipolar control freak. Get out while you can. ANYTHING purchased after marriage in many states is considered marital property no matter who's name it's in.
I would not waste one day of my life on a man like this. You're not in a marriage, you're living a nightmare. I don't care if he's bipolar or what ever else doctors will label him with...it's not what you signed for. Leave this misery. Find a man that has all his screws and bolts at the right place.
is he miltary??? My husband served in Iraq twice and he had all of this (PTSD is what he has) and I stuck it out for as long as I could and finally something snapped with him and he got help for it. But that is not to say your husband will... I work @ the local mental health dept. adn sometimes there are underlying issues that you have no idea about... hoping and praying it gets better for you.
I think you guys need some time apart for a little bit.


If he feels that way, then all you can do is reason with him...but why reason with him if he feels that way about you? It is a hard question...Just follow your heart and if he comes to his senses talk it out.. I would suggest some counseling.


A life long marraige doesn't come easily and it takes a lot of work!
He is an over-indulged, spoiled brat that has gotten away with this behavior for too long. Leave him. You don't deserve this. Or call the police next time he goes off. The will force him to get counseling. I would divorce him. You go to the attorney first and file on him - you have the upper hand if you file first. Good luck.
your husband sounds like someone with an emotional problem along with a lot of other issues. what could you have done that would make him hate you that much??? NO, i think he needs a lot of help for whatever has him like this. and unfortunately, you can't help him. he will need a lot of professional help. also he is probably looking for a way out. because for one thing he doesn't know how to treat a wife, or children.


he does sound like someone with bipolar symptoms. if he does, then you will have to put up with this kind of behavior or get out. and my advice would be to get out before any more damage is done. to you or the children. they don't need this kind of behavior around them. you should not feel like you deserve this and being called nasty names. even if you haven't been a saint, no one is, but you still don't have to put up with this.being around this kind of behavior is very depressing. medicine can help, but it is not a cure.
Don't listen to advice saying he's a brat or whatever. Listen to this. He is suffering from mental illness in a bad kind of way. He badly needs med adjustment. Some things will improve with him and your relationship if he gets that. HOWEVER, you don't deserve to be treated the way you are. Divorce is not something to threaten EVER. Calling your wife names because you are mad is NOT okay. Objectifying you and your child is not permissible behavior. Your relationship sounds toxic. He needs help. You would do well do seek counselling too. Keep yourself whole as a person. Don't link your help to his. I'd say get away from him. He will get help on his own, or when the police become involved. The police will become involved if he doesn't get those med changes. Don't let it be because you are hurt or in danger.
Being on medication isn't facing the problem. Seeking counselling, the Lord, and a clear, open, honest, direct communication (even if it means sitting completely across the room from each other while getting to the bottom of it), those are the best routes. Diets (red meat, white meat, caffeine, etc), creative outlets (writing, talking, drawing), and time alone and time together should all be analyzed and really considered. Medication is the equivalent of the lazy person's way of handling their problems. Really reaching out to learn about your entire body composition takes time, hard work, and a dedication far beyond what most people comprehend.





Take it from me, I was in a relationship where, undoubtedly the love of my life could only give me the real her 1% of the time and the other 99% of the time it was mental and emotional abuse from her to me. However, I ultimately did the most disgusting, most disrespectful, and most disgraceful thing I could imagine and more than once or twice. Not a day goes by that I blame her for my actions because THEY WERE MY ACTIONS. I regret what I did daily, but instead of regretting it I turn that regret into fuel and seek to make myself a better person: counselling, dietary, you name it. I know she won't ever face her demons, her issues, but that's ok because she's her and I'm me. I can only focus on myself. The same goes for you!





However, for problems to escalate to the point of what it sounds like you two are at, it took both of you and so both of you should seek counselling, the Lord, and self betterment (diets, etc), if you want a chance at ever having a relationship be healthy (and I'm not even saying your current relationship). It takes two people working together as one and working individually as a team to make anything healthy. I wish you the best!