Don't push...you had an argument today...he probably doesn't want to hear anymore of your feelings today, because he has already heard them in the argument, and now he has his feelings to deal with. We handle things differently, sometimes, and that is okay. He too might be really upset and is looking for ways to distance himself a bit as opposed to you wanting to share. He might feel that you are forcing your feelings on him, and he is resenting you for it. Sometimes, we have to find other ways to express our feelings, (like journaling) or find someone else to share it with. Guys just like to deal with it and leave it alone, they don't want to talk about it after it has been resolved. He might be up for hearing about your feelings on another day, but right now, and probably later, he will think you are arguing again.
Maybe a couple of weeks from now, sit down with him and ask him how HE feels after you have had an argument. Instead of accusing him of not being there for you, try to get to know him by finding out how we likes to deal with things when you have an argument. (Ask him why he withdraws after an argument, and does he want time to himself etc.) Then the next time you have an argument, you can come to respect each others boundaries and find a time that is more suitable to share your feelings...you know...find compromise. You can't deal with what you don't know, so find out what you need to know, so next time, you can avoid the frustration and pain after an argument.Need some advice, what to do with my husband?
turn off the xbox and let him know your love is more important.
take that video game away and while he is asking for it then you talk to him there. he is bound to listen to you. or have some little kids breake it. lol
Two questions ina row almost identical headings! If this is just a ';today'; situation, let the guy play his Xbox! Geez. Typical womanly behavior...they must ALWAYS be the center of attention. You run in the other room, and expect the guy to run after you when he just got done saying he doesnt want to talk anymore??
yeah unfortunately its normal. people often take each others feeling for granted and men usually don't want to talk about em anyway...unless of course it is his problem and he is trying to get you to understand. My reaction would be to cut him off sexually or piss him off by leaving and not tell him where and come back at some ungodly hour and not explain why or where you have been. That of course is manipulation and will usually cause trouble too. He is just being selfish and manipulative too, but if you do that then the problems will escalate.
If you can get some counseling and make him go with you as well or threaten to divorce him if he doesn't.
Sorry I don't think I am much help.
throw the damn game out!!!!!
I think you may be way too much into yourself. Give him space. When he asks you to stop, then stop. Guys don't want to be nagged.
As for yourself, try to make some friends outside of your marriage. Then it will be both healthy for you and your husband. Also, perhaps you need to lighten up a bit.
take back the xbox you bought it
It is difficult when a man has an affair with an inanimate object. I know because mine has one with the computer, not chatting just online auction or news whatever the internet is offering. Anyway, you will have to find a time that he is not on the game and then you will have to start talking to him. During the time he is not on the system, you can say to him something like, ';Honey, I feel like when you are on the xbox it is hard for you to listen to me. Is there a time we can fix so that we can talk about anything?'; You don't have to say that exactly but one thing you should do is start the sentence with I not you. If you start it with I then he is more apt to listen because it is a statement. If you start it with you then it is an accusation and it automatically makes him shut down.
Also since you are feeling so alone with his actions perhaps you could do the same thing. You may not like it but maybe you could get on the xbox and start playing then when he starts to complain let him know this is what he does and you really like playing (could be a little lie but for a purpose) and you are just testing it out you figured the extra game time couldn't hurt the machine.
sounds to me like he doesnt want to listen to you speak 'whinese' anymore. maybe you should grow up and learn to handle your problems and stop whinning about them
They are your feelings. They are meant for you to feel. Not impose on other people. You had a problem that you sorted out. Game over. Go take a bubble bath with candles and nice music.
Sometimes men instead of being able to talk over their feelings ALL at once, need time to breathe, collect themselves, and actually THINK about how they feel.
What I can say for sure, is that your husband is being insensitive, and may be using not checking on you as punishment because he feels the argument did not go his way, or was resolved by pointing all blame upon him. If I were you, I'd go to him, tell him ';Look, I was obviously upset, that was a heated talk. But you have to understand the ONE person I want to talk to about how I feel is you because you're my best friend, and as my best friend you have to deal with me when I'm up, and when I'm down, because I'd do the same for you. So if you need time to figure out how you feel, I'll give you that, but accept this won't be resolved until I don't feel the need to cry anymore, and until you decide to make me feel like I'm not just yelling at you, but trying to figure out a way we can BOTH be happy...so if you insist on playing that XBOX instead of acknowledging I'm unhappy right now, then I'm going to acknowledge your an asshole, and treat you as such.';
dance around in some lingerie any man with a heartbeat would drop an xbox for that
go to a marriage counselor. or, take a weekend and go on a trip to hawaii with him
well you put it in his hands and he is at home not running around on you be thankful and also he has something to do the games just like you are here asking questions he is playing to.
he is very insensitive. that box is more important then you. i would make him hear me. your his wife and he should listen to your feelings. you were nice enough to get him that box and i would remind him also.you shouldnt have to go through that. my husband does that very seldom and i will tell him i just need him to listen to me. sometimes men think they have to fix it, when we only want them to listen to us.
he just really likes the game. guys love video games . in a month he won't even remember the game . unless he gets another game
When you are both calmer, you need to sit down and talk together. Communication is the key in a relationship. If you cannot talk and relate with each other, what CAN you do? You need to tell him flat out how you feel about his actions and your argument, and then say how you can BOTH improve in solving the issue. For example, you could say, ';I really feel that we were not communicating well the other night, and I don't want it to happen again. It really upsets me when you are not willing to solve our problems together and that you would rather play video games instead. I really care about you and I care about our relationship.'; You need to stress the fact that you aren't happy and that you want things to change. Don't yell, don't grow frustrated, don't threaten - even if he does, you shouldn't. Just sit there and talk maturely, as adults, about the situation.
Remember, every couple has their ups and downs. But if this is consistant, and you constantly feel this way, then maybe you should seek some counselling. If your husband refuses to go with you, just go alone. Find a way to communicate better with yourself AND your husband. It will be worth it in the long run.
XOXO,
Laurie
give that azzhole the silent treatment and go on about your aily life...see i have an azzhole like that at home too. when i get upset and cry it makes him really ignore me...so ignore him and give him the cold shoulder back...seriously give him his own medicine....
why not play xbox with him. what is it you two did when you got along. you need to find equal ground or your going to go into 'me, me and only me' type of distance.
If this is just a recent problem, I would suggest that you just give him a couple of days because you don't know how he's feeling and he might just need a break. If it goes on for while longer, you need to tell him how you feel - try and get him to open up and ask him to be a little more attentive.
Yes that is perfectly normal because guys do that sometimes. Games are really addictive, and if they can distract them from their loved ones. However, his behavior is unacceptable if you are crying and want to talk to him, he should at least pause the game and listen. I don't know what the argument was about though so it might be something bigger. Just wait it out, give him a day or so and i'm sure he will come around. When you are both feeling normal, talk to him and say he cannot just shut you out whenever he chooses to because it hurts you and you feel like you have no one to turn to. Good luck!
xbox is COOL! Leave him alone...buy him some beer, and leave him alone.
Men are like that; the have something childish in them and when they actually have the opportunity, they express it, for example with the Xbox. Buy yourself sexy lingerie and give it to him for new year as a present. I am sure he will leave the xbox after while
Take the game back to gamestop, they will pay money for it. As for your husband, you can't take him back (sadly) but you can work things out with him. If he wont listen to you, he might need some time alone. Leave him to himself (go shopping or something) for a while and come home and give him a taste of his own medicine. Ignore him for a while and see how he likes it.
Perhaps he's tired of hearing about your feelings and listening to you whine. You bought him the game, can't complain about it now. Guys don't like to talk about feelings and they sure don't want to hear about them.
Sounds like he can't deal with the issue at hand right now. Give him a day or two, he'll come around. Just because he's having an ';off'; day doesn't mean he has stopped caring. We act irrational sometimes too.
Treat him like a child and take away his Christmas present. Tell him you want to be played with too. lol
I'd call Santa and have that xbox 360 reposessed! I think the problem is that he's really into his new 'toy' and that he doesn't want to be bothered or interrupted. I don't think he personally hates you or thinks you're annoying, but it's more due to him being into the game that he's playing.
you are being too needy... if you really want to resolve the disagreement you'll need to speak to him as in reasonable tones with a reasonable argument and not run into the room and get on the computer... and complain that he's playing Xbox
First of all, what a jerk!
I would dress up as cute as possible and go out. Tell him, since you dont want to talk right now, then I guess that I will have to find someone who will! That will either get his attention or you will want to go somewhere else ANYWHERE. (Movies, friends hm, club, etc.) If you have kids, leave them with him!
You should never let him treat you like that. There is NO reason that a game should be more important than your relationship.
I recommend that you find some friends that you can talk to. You need someone to vent to if he isn't going to be the shoulder that you can count on.
Good Luck!
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