Desperately need advice? I've been with my husband for almost 3 years, got married last July.?

We broke up for awhile in Nov 05 and I went back out with an ex which was a really stupid mistake on my part. My husband has always known about it and everytime we get in an argument he throws it up in my face. In the beginning he was so affectionate but now he comes home from work, sits in front of the tv, eats dinner, and then goes to bed. He gets mad because he says I have no sex drive but the only time he wants it is after he has been watching the playboy channel half the night, and then it's just straight up sex, no cuddling, kissing, or I love you after. He comes home from work in a bad mood and takes it out on me. He acts like the house if never clean, I mean there are things scattered given I have 3 small children but it's not that bad. I go to school and raise 3 kids, wait on him and he acts like I do nothing. He has been physical in the past and is verbally abusive now.Desperately need advice? I've been with my husband for almost 3 years, got married last July.?
Sounds to me like getting back with him was a mistake and that you have been blind to all kinds of things. You should never let a man treat you like that and you should especially not raise children in an environment that condones that kind of fear and abuse. You should talk with your man and let him know that things need to change or they are really going to change! If he was physically abusive in the past why oh why did you go back with him... save yourself kiddo. You can start to reverse your years of bad choices by making one good one.Desperately need advice? I've been with my husband for almost 3 years, got married last July.?
if he's so awful, why on earth are you putting up with this? do you have no dignity left?





if you broke up, and then dated, well, i guess you had the right... you WERE broken up.





relationships which are in constant need of repair, never work.
YOu should consider counseling. Just to help get the communication skills going.
When your married you dont break up..its not the dating game. If he is not making you happy then leave him.....And i dont want to hear you should try..try what?.... to scrub his feet now.....
God hun


leave him


you will find better
You both need marriage counseling and communications is critical in a relationship..


It sounds like you both reunited but never discussed and communicated about what happened between you and this other guy while you were broke up....





It clearly is still bothering your husband and this issue needs to be addressed so the wounds can start to heal.. Other wise things will not get better in your marriage but things will continue to go downhill..





It sounds like your husband does not trust you, and has no respect in you.. These are things you lost when you cheated on him and must be earned back but his behavior not except able by no means, he needs counseling as do you.





Best of luck
Marital counseling, and pronto. There's a lot at stake here. If he's been physically abusive in the past, that is past. Not anything to be proud of but it is past. The verbal abuse now is him lashing out because he feels that what was probably good at one time is now no longer good - and he doesn't trust you. People like to be affectionate and happy in marriage - no one likes to come home and act like they are in prison and just drag themselves through the evening, watching tv and then going to bed. Your husband has a lot of resentment. You both need marital counseling and to work on making your marriage good again. It's work, no doubt about it. But you can do it - you just have to do it together. You have children and you were happy once upon a time. It's worth it.
wow, i would like to ask you if you are my sister in law your story is identical to hers, she has 3 kids, is going to school, and her husband is exactly the same as yours, so i will give you the same advice i constantly give her LEAVE HIM, by staying in this relationship you are showing your kids that this kind of behavior is ok and that when they grow up they should seek out a relationship just like it - believe it or not children model their relationships mostly after the ones their parents had. Also you dont deserve to be treated so poorly by the man that calls himself your husband... his bringing up the past in every fight shows he has not gotten over it and he probably never will. It will be hard to make it on your own with 3 kids, but you can do it, and in the end if you do you will look back and realize it was the best decision you could ever make! My best advice for you is to find support through friends and YOUR family and leave as soon as you can and dont look back... no matter what he says about how things will change or be better this time, trust me they wont! think of your children and yourself, neither you nor them deserve this....
It sounds to me he has not dealt with what you did. It is hard for him to imagine you with this man in his head. When you are married you do not break up when the tough get going and go out and find an ex for a booty call. THAT was WRONG. To be honest you should be telling him everyday you are sorry for it and go get help therapy for marriage as both of you are hurting.





I know YOU know it was wrong and it hurts but he is hurting to





good luck and I do hope it works out for you both
Sounds like a replay of my life but seriously i dont care what anyone else on here has to say let me tell you first you need to determine if you think he has it in him to change secondly if he does you need to stick by him through it but be firm and put ur foot down about things if he doesnt do what you ask him to to want to keep this marriage going on his part then you split,but if you dont think he has it in him you need to go now it will only get worse, are the children his? this is a game for him it sounds like so you play it just as good if not better than he does hunny you are a WOMAN with MORE intellect than any man that wants to treat a woman the wrong way out of unappreiciation !!!!!
This is what you do. First, you need to communicate. Tell him that you are not as happy as you could be in this relationship. Tell him that you want to talk but want to schedule a time so that it doesn't feel like you are attacking him. Sometimes you get past this point and communication only ends in fighting. If this is the case you need to get a notebook and write back and forth to each other. Either form of communication needs to have a lot of ';When you......it makes me feel......'; statements. If he is not into fixing things for your benefit you need to leave. Giving yourself that time limit is perfect. It is a reasonable amount of time and you are the only one who can ultimately make things better for you and your children. Good Luck, Sweetie, I hope he is responsive.
You can't be happy living this way - if it's this way after just 3 years, what is it gonna be like after 15 or 20 years? I would think it would only get worse - Also, the children are going to be affected by his behavior, if not now, in the years to come. I would think seriously about making changes in my life and would not include him in any of my future plans.