Having some relationship issues with husband 3 weeks after daughter born....need advice!?

just had our daughter 3 weeks ago and it was the best day of our lives...but now that she is home I feel like im the one pulling all the weight. Im so sick of his excuse of I worked all day...ok well he goes to work for 8 hours but im the one working 24/7. He doesn't help me at night, and when he gets home from work he says hes SO tired. I wish he only knew how tired I am. And than to top it all off his family completely babies him! Like his mom says oh hunny i know your tired and than she looks at me and asks whats wrong and I say im tired, and she is like WHY? I mean common! Idk what to do but we have been arguing alot and I just cant believe how much our relationship has changed....im to the point where I am thinking of leaving if he doesnt change....what should I DO??Having some relationship issues with husband 3 weeks after daughter born....need advice!?
He needs to get with the program. My wife had a C-Section and could not even get out of bed for the first week.





He really needs to shape up. Whether his family has babied him or not, now he is a father and needs to step up to the plate.





the ';I worked all day'; argument does not hold any water. If you would focus on your baby, when he comes home, you could start right off by asking what he plans to make for dinner. Don't give him the chance to use any excuses.





good luckHaving some relationship issues with husband 3 weeks after daughter born....need advice!?
You need to tell his family straight up to butt out and then you need to talk to him about your concerns. But his family has no right to judge you..
Sorry to hear this. Your husband sounds like he is young and wasn't ready to have children right away. How old is he?
tell him all this.
You need to sit down and have a discussion with him, letting him know that you feel as though you are carrying all the weight and he needs to help out more. Tell him that you recognize he is going to work all day, and that can be tiring by itself, but you intend on raising this daughter together so you need to work out a better system.





I would also look into giving him total responsibility for the baby for a day (his day off, for example) so he can see everything that you do day in day out. Try and make sure that his family is not going to interfere and take over (because then he won't experience it).





Good luck!
I know how you feel my fiance is a bit like this,thinks because he works he's done more than me and shouldnt have to do anything!Im only 21 and trying to go from been a full time working independant woman to been a sahm,and in learning about how to look after my daughter(4 months) the housework is sliding but he wont do it he'll wait until i do it!Even if it takes days,like he's trying to prove a point.I used to work where he does and so i know full well looking after lucy is harder but he thinks im lying.I really darent go into it as its all so childish but basically i look after lucy and he goes to work then plays on the ps3!!He doesnt think for 1 minute maybe i need a break.Sorry for ranting needed to get it off my chest.People are saying you should leave your daughter with him to let him see what its like but he'll just say its harder for him as hes been at work all week so hes far more tired than you!And if your anything like me you'd probably worry he's not looking after her anyway.Night feeds are horrible esp. when your doing them on your own,you really need to tell him all this cry if you have to tell him its bloody hard esp when your still healing.Tell him to change otherwise he loses both of you,ask him if he wants to be that dad that only see's his daughter once a fortnight.Mine is slowly helping more but only because shes a lot easier to look after now.Good luck let me know how you get on you can email me if you wanna talk more xxx
I am in the same postion, my husband comes home from work and complains that he is tired..so what?, now you have a job as a father, so i pass the baby to him and say here you go i'm going to have a bath, and read..have some ME time, you can have daddy-daughter time, it does get better though, wait till 3 months and he should be more into how to soothe and comfort your daughter, it sounds like he is scared and doesnt know what to do, show him your scheduale and how you handle things and mabe he will get it, it doesn't help that the family babies him, when they say these things say he is a grown man and knows how to do things, everytime my MIL says that she will do things for my husband because he says he is ';tired'; I just tell her no, he can do it on his own...he wants to, I have went to my parents house plenty of times to get a break, just to nap when my daughter was first born, I appreciated it, so let your husband know you appreciate ANY help possible...good luck and i hope it gets better
WOW.. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR DAUGHTER!!! ... HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE HOME CARING FOR A CHILD SO ON HIS DAY OFF ... TRADE SPOTS WITH HIM... HAVE HIM BE THE HOUSE HUSBAND AND CARE FOR YOUR DAUGHTER .... AND HE NEEDS TO STOP BEING BABIED BY HIS AMILY... HE HAS A BABY AND A WIFE TO TAKE CARE OF... HIS FAMILY SHOULD STAY OUT OF YOUR BUSINESS AND NOT TAKE SIDES.. IF HE WONT HELP THEN YOU WILL GO WHERE HELP WILL BE FOUND!!! GOOD LUCK!!!
It's very normal to have this battle...my husband and I had it too. What I did...which is something not a lot of Mothers can dol....is lie there and not move when the baby woke up at night....so he HAD to get up....obviously I didnt do it every time...but maybe every other time...you can't do it if you're breast feeding but if you are bottle feeding MAKE him get up! Also let the housework slide...only do what is totally necassary...floors, laundry, toilets....dont iron or dust....if he complains say well you will have to give me a break...then I will have the energy to iron. Another extreme thing is to walk out of the house as soon as he gets in....go to a friends for an hour or to a cafe,,,,tell him you'll be back soon. Stick with it...it will get better.
Plenty of 1st time fathers have the same attitude. Me included. Until my wife had to go into the hospital for surgery. 2 babies at home. 19 month old and a 4 month old. Plenty of people offered to stay over and help with the babies until the wife came home. I wouldn't hear of it. Well, my wife had the surgery and had to remain in the hospital for 3 weeks. I stayed home with the babies. Lesson I learned: Thank god I'm not a mommy. Thank god I can leave for work every day. Thank god for my wife! And that's exactly what your husband needs. a good taste of a few days alone with the baby. And you have it even worse, with surgical scars and all. I know that you have a tough problem and I know my answer doesn't solve your problem, but I hope I helped you emotionall. Good luck.
Tell him how you feel.


His mother has obviously done everything for him in his life so far.


So he knows no better than to sit around.


Get your mother to help you,and even maybe temporarily move in.


If things get bad tell him your going to leave to your mothers or something until he decides to do some work!