To women out there, I need advice: choice between succesful career or husband?

Let's say you鈥檙e in your mid-20s, you鈥檙e starting off a great career and you meet the guy of your dreams (or at least you think you did), he loves you, treats you well, is financially stable, etc.





However, you never thought of yourself as a person who would get married before the late 20s or even 30s, you always planned to do your masters at a top school (which is away from where you live), continue working hard and get a high position in your field.





Would you let your plans go to waste for this man you found or would you forget about the man?





You can鈥檛 choose both, you鈥檒l have to do a compromise. If you get married, get kids, you can鈥檛 do a full time masters degree in your dream school, and even less juggle with a job in parallel. I could have a regular job true but not my dream job and not my dream degree.To women out there, I need advice: choice between succesful career or husband?
As you get older sometimes your dreams change. I always wanted to be a CPA, but I got married and had kids and never regretted not going when I wanted to. I pride myself on being a good mom and wife. Now that my kids are in school I've went back to work on my degree. But that’s me and I'm ok with the decisions I've made. If finishing school and having this guy is important to you then you will figure out how to do both. Good luck and whatever you decide.To women out there, I need advice: choice between succesful career or husband?
the way you present this is very telling. You make it sound like you have to ';give up'; to have this guy. Believe me, by doing that you will create for yourself an existence of resentment, no matter how wonderful he is. Love and cherish yourself and the right guy will be attracted to you. If you make yourself a martyr you will make a huge mistake. You can have both, love and confidence, I know.
My dreams were to get married and have children.





Now I have an incredible marriage and 3 kids.





This is my definition of success:





a really great life, marriage, kids that are happy and healthy.


I def all for the emotional and heart aspect of life.





I love being a wife and mom. And I do it very, very well.





So to me I have already succeded and I am very successful.





My career is just not that important to me. I just need it to support our life and children.
I would go with school and career. I have been married a long time and I have a lot of regrets. There is no such thing as soul mates so don't let it worry you that this man is THE MAN for you and if you don't snatch him up your one shot at love has passed you by. Having a career you love will make you much more happy than any man.
follow your dreams! If hes the one for you he'll either a) undertand or b) follow you and you guys can work together
My career comes 1st -





Men come and go but careers are forever!





If he truly loved you then he would wait -
You've gotten a lot of good advice here -- people asking you why you can't do both.





But, say you can't. Say you had to choose. One or the other.





Here's the way I see it: I'd go for the career. (and, indeed, I did in my own life) I found that my idea of ';Mr. Perfect'; changed as I grew. I can't imagine anything sadder than feeling trapped at home with kids and asking ';What if?';





If you have a career, then you will always have a way to support yourself… and you will get a lot of satisfaction from having your own identity. I have no doubt that, with our drive and ambition, you'd be great at whatever you'd do as a career. And when you're happy, you attract good people into your life. Even Mr. Right.





Good luck!
Its your choice. Me being in a bad marriage will give you the choice of going with the career. Others in a great marriage will tell you to go for the man. Its really what you want out of life. Careers are hard to come by, you are young and able to better yourself but a good man is also hard to find as well. Do what is in your heart. Its your life and either way you will always wonder what if you did the opposite. Is there absolutely no hope for both? You don’t have to have kids right away.. .and the husband can move with you. Just a suggestion. I hope the best for you and hope you make the decision that is in your heart. It wont be an easy decision.
When I met my (now) husband, I knew he was the answer to my life not just an additional question for me to think about. That is how certain I was, even 15 years ago. He quit his job and moved 1000 miles away with me 3 days after we met. He and I have a wonderful marriage and I wouldn't be able to consider my life as a


success if it didn't include him. We have been together for 15 years. We are always broke, never have taken a vacation, live a pretty stagnant and uneventful life and we are completely and totally happy. My friends have doctorate degrees, vacation in France and Australia, and drive cars that are worth more than I could ever hope to have. We live very simply and don't have much but out of 4 couples that share a joint friendship, my husband and I are the couple that is envied above all others by friends, family and people that barely know us. I thank God everyday for such a beautiful gift. I wouldn't trade him for the moon, a Doctorate, PHD, second chance at life, or a Nobel Prize. He is mine and he is all I need.





If you have doubts at all then by all means, finish your degree and wait as long as you have to for the 'one'; to come along. When your prince comes along you won't be able to question it at all. It will fill you completely mind, body and soul, and you will not have doubt or time for hesitation. Good Luck to you
Yes, Why can't you do both? First you are being to black or white about it. Really there are many more options. I married the man of my dreams and have just recently decided to go back to school. We want children but not yet and understand that they will not be coming in the near future. With his love and support it has made the decision of going back to school much much easier for me to make, and! He has vowed to help me in anyway (mental/emotional/fiscally) possible to help me fulfill my schooling/career. Anything is possible if you want it to be. Having him in your life might make the last years of schooling easier. No woman is required to have children as soon as they've married or ever for that matter.
Why can't you have both? Is he saying let's get married and have babies tomorrow? If so…he's probably a little crazy and you should run. But I don't see why you can't slow down a bit, work on school, date him and see what happens. Why the rush? If he really, really loves you and wants to be with you long term, he will consider your needs and wants, not just his. And you need and want to finish school. And you absolutely should. If he isn't cool with supporting your decision to do that, then he's probably not worth giving it all up for.
Can't have both? Sure you can.





Here's the four rules my mom pasted in my br when I was just 11.








1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry. Choose with your head as well as your heart.


2. Have no children until your bond is strong, and have no more than you yourself can support. You may just have to


3. At any and all costs finish your education to qualify for those high paying jobs. It is likely that you will work sometime during your marriage, probably for decades鈥? Get paid for it. And remember, your kids and your education are forever鈥? Husbands, lovers and promises are not!!


4. Have a stash of cash no one knows about even if you are sure you will never need it. You absolutely will, and the more the better.





Read my avatar, hon. If I dropped dead tomorrow, I've the the most lovely of lives. The first man I married, I was only 19--not only did he finish raising me, but encouraged me to continue in school. When that marriage failed, I met another prince, to whom I was married 18 years. I have a lovely job. When he was killed, I could have sat in my beer and cried forever. But life is too lovely not to be partnered. I now live with yet a third prince.





Maybe what this says, is there is always some great guy out there if you are in the correct circle of people… and for me, that was bright, educated, successful men, who didn't mind that I too, had a job.





Don't decide about kids so early, and about planning everything so perfectly. It won't work anyway. And you may opt out of becoming a parent…. A 2 decade commitment, and any survey will reveal, that couples childless by choice are far happier than those with children…. None of us ever think those beautiful babies will ever, ever, ever become teenagers.





Go for your education, and your dream job. Everything else will take care of itself.
What if you met a man who wanted to support you while you completed your education and built a career? In many ways life is easier w/ a partner, as long as it is someone who has your best interest at heart. I married at 20 because I met an exceptional person. He has never ';told'; me what to do. After 16 years together, working and building a future together, we started a family. We both feel that it is never necessary to do what is always accepted by the rest of the world. Pave your own way.