My husband and his ex split over 8 yrs ago. We been married 5 yrs this July and things have just started getting ugly with his ex wife. In November she started giving us trouble and now she is acting like a complete nut case. My husband and her have joint custody but he is always having to work around her schedule. The problem now is she is constantly making comments about me.and has even brought me and my husbands children in it. She got on the phone with my husband hysterically yelling and made the comment that he doesn't love me. She said that she cant deal with his new family and doesn't want us involved in anything she is. I don't want her at my house anymore, we don't want to deal with her. How have some of you worked out visitation on weekends with someone who cant seem to act like an adult. Meet somewhere? But we also don't think she would met us on Monday. All she says when its not her way is ';F*** you'; then hangs up the phone if something is said she doesn't like. I'm not sure what to do. I have some crazy woman teling my husband that I am not to be involved in their life! What should we do..my husband has told her she needs help and to get a life but she back off.We need a better custody arrangement. Any advice on how to avoid my husband ex wife?
I can sympathize with you because my husband's ex-wife is about as crazy as the one you have described %26amp; they have a son together so she's around a lot. My husband %26amp; his ex we're divorced long before I came along and we dated for 5 years before getting married but she still has her moments when I could literally strangle her to death because she's so dramatic %26amp; just a pain in the a$$ to deal with when she communicates with my husband. She has this CRAZY idea that they are ';best friends'; and I know one day I'm going to have to burst her bubble when she pisses me off enough because he can hardly stand her most of the time. So anyway, you aren't alone in your situation as I'm sure there are MANY women in the same situation as you %26amp; I :)
But as far as dealing with what you have going on. Since the ex that you're dealing with is completely irrational and thinks it's appropriate to trash you %26amp; your children, I think it's best for you to stay completely out of all dealings she has with your husband. She is going to say what she wants about you, your marriage, your kids and it's not ok BUT you can't let her comments and delusional thoughts get to you because it doesn't matter what she says or thinks about you. As hard as it may be you need to be the bigger person and just keep your mouth shut. Let your husband deal with her and figure out what arrangements need to be made to pick-up or drop-off the kids. If you have to be in the same place as her then stay away from her and keep to yourself. She obviously isn't a great mother based on what you described but you can't change the person she is and neither can your husband. She's crazy and is probably jealous that her ex is happy and has a new family and I guess you can't blame her for that. It's sad that she can't just move on, live her own life and be a good mother to her kids but I guess that's easier said than done for some people. Be a good stepmother to those kids and be a better example as a mother because as they get older they will realize that their real mom has issues. I could go on and on because the more I think about your situation the more I think about the crazy ex that I have to deal with on a daily basis. In a perfect world she would just fall off the face of the earth but that hasn't happened yet. Good luck to you!We need a better custody arrangement. Any advice on how to avoid my husband ex wife?
Have a police officer with you when you meet her just to ';keep the peace';
After a while she'll just calm down. If she yells on the phone tell her when she can talk to you like an adult to call back and just simply hang up.
Maybe you guys should get full custody? And, if she wants to visit with the kids you can have her act a little more grown up. She doesn't seem stable or like a good role model for the kids.
Was there a question in all that mumble jumble?
You can't really avoid her because she's the mother of his children. Joint custody means they both have legal and possessory rights to the children.
To me, it seems like everyone here is being childish and not thinking about what matters most, those children. Who cares if she's talking about you and doesn't like you helping to raise her kids? It's a fact of life that she cannot change, so why be bothered?
If she causes situations that are harmful to the children and not just your emotions, then you can have something done about that. Also, you can send any competent adult to pick up or drop off the children, so therefore your husband can respond by sending a 3rd party and that way she has nobody to deal with.
Honestly, what needs to happen is everyone needs to grow up and stay in their lane. Mom and Dad need to deal with one another directly without your involvement. If you have any input, that should be stated to dad, not mom. Your opinions of her kept to yourself, etc...
I know it's hard dealing with a terrible ex, i have one. But you have to ALWAYS take the high road with them. not only does it look good in a court of law, but sometimes killing them with kindness, and not responding to their anger with your own can go a loooong way.
I'm going through the same thing. Although he is not my husband yet, the war is continuous. She even lied to his family about him not paying child support, which he did. and now his family took her side because in the begining, he could not afford the full child support and was trying to start his new life. He is now caught up but the war goes on. He works afternoons and she works really late. Instead of letting the kids come stay with stepmom(me) after school they go to this ladys house that doesn't care about the kids or thier well being. She constantly tells the kids to not listen to me and when they are with her they are not to say my name at all. If they do they get hit with a paddle. She puts on her myspace page that they are not mine and they do not love me. I asked the kids once and they said that when she says stuff like that to them, they shake their heads and walk away. They dont want to hear it. My fiance' cannot get off afternoons even if he paid someone and the economy is too bad start a new job. But she will not let me come pick them up to go see dad during the week at his work. We only see them every other weekend. They are with the babysitter lady most of the time. He has joint custody too and even asked if he can have them over night on sundays and take them to school on mondays and she said no. she will only go by the guidelines in the parenting handbook. This lady is crazy too. She will not listen to anyone and she does not care about anything. She only cares about the kids for the child support money and the fact that they were liking me too much. Everytime they spend too much time with me, she acts like the nice mom who loves her kids, and then as soon as they fall for it, she starts to not care. Right now she is in her not caring mode. But coming up is a field trip that I was invited to along with the school. and she was not invited. After she finds this out she will act like supermom for a week to get the school to like her. But the school knows that she just does that to get her kids to not like me for the week. I know we step moms have it hard and the real moms need to take a chill pill cause they should be glad that thier ex husbands found someone that was nice to the kids. They could have ending up with an evil ***** who doesn't want anything to do with the kids.
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