I think i may leave my husband, and i am so confused. Any advice would be so helpful.?

We are both 25, married 3 years now, and have been together since we were 17. He used to be very abusive, not really sure why i stayed with him, but as the years went on, things got better. I have a horrible family life, and he has helped me tremendously with that. There have been a few more abusive episodes (emotional and physical) and i just feel like i woke up from a dream, and cant seem to forget all of the horrible things that have happened. We don't talk at all, he is extremely quiet and more so as the years go on, and i am in desperate need of conversation. I am sad all of the time, cant sleep at night. I have explained these things to him and yet nothing changes. I know he loves me, and i don't want to hurt him. But i don't want to spend my life without love and laughter. I'm hurting so badly, and very much alone.. I could use any kind of good advice. Thank you.I think i may leave my husband, and i am so confused. Any advice would be so helpful.?
If you have been abused, either physically or emotionally in the past. Then the chances are things wont change. Yes, they may get easier from time to time but i think it would only be temporary.


If you cant communicate with him, then the relationship is doomed to fail, as anyone will tell you that communication is key in a relationship.


If you're not happy, then you have to seriously look into your heart and think about what you want. If you have no children then the situation may be slightly easier as that would be a big complication.


If you are unhappy and you know things won't change then maybe it is time to call it a day. You have to think of yourself, and you cant be miserable, just because you are frightened to walk away. Good luckI think i may leave my husband, and i am so confused. Any advice would be so helpful.?
Honey, it appears that you've given your relationship your all and should've left a long time ago. It's high time you do something for yourself!! How he'll feel is really irrelevant. After all, has he cared about your feelings? I think he's proven that time and again with his abuse. God doesn't intend for us to be punching bags, nor does he intend us to suffer through such abuse and have it adversely affect our attitude. Depression isn't something you should endure at the hands of another's abuse.





As I said, you've given your marriage 3 more years than you should've. It's a good thing that you've awaken and realized that things aren't going to change, and it's obvious that he has no desire to change them. Do something for YOU!





You're in my heart and prayers, Sweet. May God richly bless you today and always!!
I totally agree with abradley...





Your man is really having a tough time. He exhibits signs of severe clinical depression and need some help right now (preferably professional help). By what you said about his earlier behaviours, this is a long standing emotional problems.





It would be good that you carry on with your counseling and if you can ask him to join for a joint session sometimes , saying that it would help you. (talk to you own therapist/counsellor first that if they agree he should get some individual help, they would encourage him to and perhaps find him another therapist?) That's what you could do for him.





He sounds like he is willing to do something to be able to still have you in his life. (clue : 'what do you want me to say' + willingness to talk about it) I suspect he feeling that you are getting ready to leave him and has retreated into himself even more.





Focus on you.


Ask him to go with you to help you. Never mention that he is the one needing help. He is overwhelmed and can't cope and so won't face the fact that he really needs help. He is scared to feel even more pain than he feels now, that's why he is running %26amp; hiding from it.





Do this, please? For him and for you, even if the final outcome is that you won't be able to reconcile the relationship. There is a chance that you can. The choice will still be yours in the end. At least you won't be thinking back that you haven't done everything you could.
People who truly love someone else do not abuse them physically or mentally. Sounds like he has control issues and he has you right where he wants you. He knows you won't leave. I suggest you do before you wind up in the hospital or worse yet dead because he goes off the deep end someday and goes further than he intends too.





The relationship you are in is unhealthy. Any relationship that has abuse in it is just not ok.





Get out now while you can.
I am kinda going through a similiar thing. My husband had an affair 8 years ago. We met when we were 17 and have been together almost 13 years now with 2 beautiful kids. Recently all of the things in the past came back up for me...He has changed 100% and is a wonderful husband now but now I am being tempted to have an affair and to leave him. He says that he will change whatever I want to stay with me but I feel like there is no love there for me. You are not alone in this crazy world of marriage. I definately don't like the abusive part that you mentioned. Sounds like you should make a support networ and move on. Once he has laid a hand on you, I doubt that he could change like you need.
try other methods to communicate, dont nag him to talk to you maybe you can brush up or read up on something he is interested in and go from there
as u say he is a good man,better talk it out to him.tell him u feel so lonely and ask him to talk to u for some 20 minutes or so daily.both of u sit down and spend time talking.it will work out
If he does not want to change then he won't. That is just the way he is. He thinks he is right just as you think you are right. Move on, life is short. You will survive with out him. You can do it.
Men are funny that way the more you try to connect with them the less they want to connect. Yet if you stop trying and do other things he will be back up your @** wanting to hang around. Now as far as the abuse that is unacceptable if that is something that is going on you need to leave.
You can Find ALL you are looking for if you allow yourself to Stop feeling Guilty about a man who never Loved you the way you deserved! Go out there and find your Mr. Right ! You can do it ! You will be so, so glad you did ! Good Luck!!
Why don't you ask him to go into counseling with you. This may open doors up for more conversation between you two. Tell him in order for you to heal you will need him there for support. I think both of you should go to counseling. Good luck with everything!!!
read your post. then read it again. you are not happy at all, so why stay? you have already made up your mind. and i agree with your decision. you got married too young. you still have your whole life ahead of you and will find a deserving partner with whom you can share many things, including a family if thats what you both want. get out now, you deserve better than him
I went through this myself after 8 years and it only get's worse over the year's . Leave now it will not get better. It started when we were together after 3 years and gotten worse over the years. Finally after 5 more years that's how long it took me to prepare to leave him , I got my own jobs, went and got my own bank accounts stuff like that. I had a small child at the time and it was hard but i was able to do it. i had no friends, was miserable wasn't allowed to go out anywhere or do anything,
First of all, it sounds to me like he is hurting from something as well. That is why he is so quiet now and doesn't talk. If you love him, he probably needs you more than ever right now. You should encourage him to go to counseling with you. He needs to talk about what is bothering him and work on communicating with you. This is fixable but, fixing things si something people don't want to do these days because running is so much easier. Either way, he does need to go to counseling and learn how to open up and communicate. He helped you through some hard time, now it's your turn to help him.
baby firl tell him to kick rocks


he is an ******** i have no repect for a guy that lays hand on a woman


and hes not giving you wat you need.and if you dont leave him now *** teh years go bye it will get harder.and just th9ink of your self
Sounds like you've already made up your mind you just need to put some action in it. If you still feel unsure about leaving for good try a seperation period it will give you sometime alone without having to deal with his crap and figure out who you are. Spend time with friends and people who make you feel good about yourself. If your husband is sad or whatever (whether he admits or not) you don't need to be around that-negativity is sooo contagious. The good thing is you are young and there are no children involved if you keep putting this off things will just get worse and you may end up in your fourties depressed and have children in that mess of a life you don't want anyone else to feel the way you do or what if you did have kids and he became abusive to them? Anyway get out now while you can the longer you stay the harder it will be to leave.
My dear girl, it all sounds like my past, I have been there more than once, and perhaps a bit of it now please feel free to email me so we can really talk, I will give it my all to help you threw this. mhower38@yahoo.com This is not life or love trust me.. hope to hear from you:)
u did not menthion kids.


together since 17 u have not lived, u need to get a place of your own and live and if after time u feel that u look past the past and b with then do it.


Other wise take a break
If you have children and things really are better, get some counseling. If kids aren't involved it will be easier to leave. Either way, counseling is likely to help you get over you painful family life. Good luck.
You are only 25. You could start again so easily. Just make sure you make your choice when you are calm and not angry and confused.
Honestly, if he does not change for you and won't get counseling then either you will be unhappy the rest of your life or you need to get a divorce and move on and find happiness.