Advice on a having a musician as a husband.?

So my husband plays in a band actually a couple of bands and we have been married for 2 years now, I love him with all my heart and would love to start a family. However he is so busy ....and all the time we do spend together it's going to a gig or going to his gigs and drinking and having a good time, well I am done with so much partying and i am ready to have a nice quit family. His music is so important to him and I respect that but the bigger his bands get the more he plays the more we are out of town and im just tired. I know this is such a random yahoo question but does anyone have any advice for me?Advice on a having a musician as a husband.?
My husband is also a musician. We have also been married for two years, and I am ready to start a family while he is not. I completely understand your situation.





Here's my advice for you, and advice I have to follow myself. Your husband was born a musician. Playing music is a part of him, and there's nothing that will ever change that. All you can do is assure him that long after arthritis has set in and he can no longer play, you'll still be around. I know the lifestyle gets old. He can be a musician without having to live the typical rock star life. That doesn't mean you should have kids right now though.





Let me try to explain what my husband has told me. Maybe he doesn't want to have kids yet because he knows he would be cheating them out of having a good father. Maybe he knows that if the two of you had children he wouldn't WANT to play music and be on the road anymore. Maybe he would want to stay home and raise his child, so he wants to take his music as far as he can before he commits the rest of his life to a child.





All you can really do is be patient and trust that he loves and respects what YOU want in life as well. The sacrifices you make for him will pay off in the end, and he knows that you are giving up a lot for him to live out his dreams. Just have faith in him and your relationship, and be paitent. I know...easier said than done, but I'm trying my hardest to do it too. :)Advice on a having a musician as a husband.?
We all know it will be very hard but you can have a family while on the road. You wouldn't be the first to do it. Talk with your husband so that both of you can weigh the pluses against the minuses.
You both want completely different lifestyles. It's going to be tough. I don't know. Sorry.
I have 3 exes that were all musicians. I couldn't deal with it honestly. Does he know how you feel or is this something you're just in the beginning stages of pondering? If I were you, I would just try to feel him out %26amp; see where he's at. I completely know how tiring the nightlife %26amp; gigs can get after a while. Maybe you could give him a certain amount of time before beginning to try like say one year %26amp; if the band isn't going anywhere great, you can start focusing more on family.
My husband and I are both musicians and I can't imagine it any other way. Musicians are passionate and we HAVE to play music. I know we'd both die without it. We are able to make time for each other and our family but we're constantly on the go. I'd say as with any career, you choose to support the one you love and make life the best it can be for you both.





Honestly, I doubt you'll ever have a nice ';quiet'; family.....we have a family with 4 kids and it's only quiet when they sleep.....





Every family is different, there are no rules about what kind of family you should be. You both make the rules....





I'd sit down with him and discuss how he sees the future and come together with a plan that you both love.





Good luck :)
Sounds like you are young but also at different places in your life. At some point the partying and drinking gets tiresome but they seem to go hand in hand with the musician lifestyle. All you have to do is decide to do something different. You don't have to go to all the gigs and stay up all night. This happened to me when I was young but a Buddhist monk gave me the advice to make a choice and to choose who I was around. Well your husband might still be into it but you don't have to be. You can make new friends maybe who are into scrapbooking, shopping, dancing, etc. and not so much drinking and do those things instead. Maybe just show up to your husband's Friday night gigs or something. He'll come around eventually but right now if you have kids it doesn't sound like that lifestyle will mesh too well.
man this is a tough one.





Is his music a side line/hobby or is it his only job?





in either case this is going to involve a lot more communication and discussion between you and hubby about what your mutual plans and goals for the future are.





my cousin was a drummer in a band that was doing quite well regionally and after about a year of marriage he was ready to settle down and start a family. Unfortunately he discovered his wife was only interested in being a groupie, she dumped him when he left the band. She loved the lifestyle more than she loved him.





It's about 8 years later and he's remarried, the step-dad of one and dad to 2, a househusband during the day, and he's playing drums again with another band in the evenings and he makes decent money--they are still a 2 income family. He does some traveling and his wife doesn't go to every single gig. She has other interests of her own outside of his music. He and his new spouse discussed what their priorities were and plan their careers around the kind of life they want to have. As much as he loves his music and as important as the band is to all of the members, they all have a standing rule of family coming first. They play because they love music and they can earn a living at what they love doing. They are not playing to be stars.





You and your hubby have to have a few conversations about what is important to each of you and what type of life the two of you want to have together.
Being married to a successful musician is pretty much like being married to a truck driver. (at least that is what my wife always said) As does anything else, success comes from hard work. Being a successful musician unfortunately means allot of travel and allot of time spent away from loved ones in most cases. I suggest that you study the situation more carefully and decide something. Either you can handle the time away from your husband or you cannot. Believe me, if he ever makes it to the point that he is offered tour, then you will have allot more time alone. That is if you don't go with him and if so, then once is all that you will want to.
You should be tired. That's alot of moving and shaking. However, you have known for two years what is important to your spouse. You have chosen to support him in his career wholeheartedly. You are now tired of the scene. He is not. His career is still moving. He wants to become someone/something, and you have been his support team the entire time. He is still going to need that. I am not saying you should continue to go on all these trips - you can show just as much support from home. I am saying you should not ask him to stop what it is he is doing simply because your clock is telling you it's time to settle down and have a family.





Having a family is a decision made between both married parties, not just you. Did the two of you discuss children prior to the wedding? Did you talk about how much time and effort you were going to pour into his career before you decided to settle down? Are you honest enough with eachother to be able to discuss things like this? I think that if you approach him in a manner that suggests he leave his career alone you might be in for a sticky conversation. I would tell him how I was feeling though. I would let him know that I was thinking about the family thing and would he be willing to discuss it down the road a piece. No pressure.





I would make the entire thing a romantic night and approcah the subject in a way that gives him comfortable options. But don't pressure him into making a decision. Allow him to take his time.