(advice from a CHRISTIAN point of view) My husband wants to end our marriage, yet i dont..what to do?

Okay. So long story short me and my husband have only been married for a year and 4 months. We had our daughter last year in september. We did have problems then and we seperated for six weeks. i prayed and asked God to restore my marriage and he did. now were having problems again and i confronted my husband on porn that i found on the computer and he immediately said that he wants a divorce and he cant do it anymore. Im praying and fasting and doing everything i can to ask God to restore my marriage. but when is enough enough? when do i just let him go? God hates divorce, so why is he letting me suffer..Why is he letting this happen?


Will God change his heart....





please if your not christian or dont have the same values or beliefs on marriage as a christian i would apprciate it if you didnt respond.. thanks!





God Bless(advice from a CHRISTIAN point of view) My husband wants to end our marriage, yet i dont..what to do?
Wow, I can't believe I found this question! I was just googling questions to see if I could find something that would help. My husband and I have also been married a year and 4 months and had a daughter last year in september!!!





We had tons of problems. I am a Christian and he is not. He is interested in God, but does not have the background that I do.





He moved out 3 months ago. At first he wanted a divorce, but we started trying to work things out. I prayed and prayed and prayed. We had been talking about getting back together, but then just recently I found hundred of e-mails he's been sending to other women. He's responding to personals ads, etc, asking for women to send him pictures, so they send half-naked pictures of themselves, etc. Of course when I confront him, he tells me its my fault because I'm a bad wife. I was so confused because I thought we were really getting along! And I have a better body now than I ever did before the baby, so it was really hard to grasp why he was doing this!!!





When I mentioned divorce, he started started saying he would never do any of this again. He's given me many reasons to not trust him, so I had to test it out. I faked an e-mail account and sent him a dirty little email. He replied to me and asked for my phone number. I didn't give him the benefit of knowing it was me, but the next day I told him I wanted a divorce and that was final.





My employer offers a referral service so we get free mental health, legal, etc referrals. So, I called and they referred me to an attorney. I called the attorney, talked to him for half an hour about paperwork and stuff, and then he asked me a little about what kind of problems we were having. I told him.





He told me that men are usually not born good husbands. They make a lof of mistakes and being a good husband and good father is a learning process. He said there are accountability groups for men, there is marriage counseling, etc. I felt kind of dumb that I had not even tried marriage counseling. My husband and I had talked about it several times, but never went.





That was just enough for me to consider giving my husband yet another chance. I talked to him and he really didn't say much. Just kept blaming me for everything HE did!





He wanted to come over and see our daughter, so he did. When he walked in I could tell he had been crying. When i asked what was wrong, he started bawling. He started talking about how he wanted to be a good husband, etc, etc, etc. i had never seen him like the before so I actually believed him. But to kill any suspicion, I had to email him from my fake account again.





I did, and this time he responded that he was sorry to have wasted my time, but he was married and had a baby and wanted to work things out with his wife.





I thought I'd press my luck, so I emailed him back telling him that he was a challenge and that I love challenges. So the next day I had an e-mail from him telling me to stop e-mailing him, in big bold letters.





We went to church the following Sunday and he talked to the pastor afterwards, who happens to do marriage counseling.





We are starting next week.





Of course I don't know the final outcome, but I know that we are both willing to work to make this work. Men need their ego stroked, and it is likely he isn;t feeling like he is the center of your attention since you have the baby now. Of course what your husband is doing isn't right, but men do things like that to make themselves feel better. It's not because you aren't good enough.





The bible says that divorce is only acceptable in marital unfaithfulness, but that it is best to work things out if you can. However, the bible also says that if you are a believer that is married to the unbeliever, and the unbeliever wants a divorce, then let him have it. But you aren't to be the one to initiate it.





Have you watched the movie Fireproof? I would suggest you rent it or look on-line for it. Have your husband watch it. Ask him to go to marriage counseling, and see a christian counselor or a minister. Of course, if he still wants to leave, then you can't stop him.





I will say a prayer for you and wish you the best.(advice from a CHRISTIAN point of view) My husband wants to end our marriage, yet i dont..what to do?
God's purpose is for you to be in a marriage that is fulfilling for both people. Keeping this relationship is what you want, but if your husband doesn't, it isn't meant to be. Sometimes God answers our prayers in a way we don't understand, but He will always give you the strength to accept what is. God Bless You.
Hello,


It is clear from your write up that u as a person hate divorce because u understand Gods ways and purpose of marriage,but let me ask is your husband born again?that were we must start from,if he is not a born again christian start the message of repentance with him and keep on praying for him.Secondly, do not accept the divoce untill you hear from God.I pray for grace on you God bless your.





Bright
God can not go against your husband's free will. He has an addiction that he has to be willing to get help with and right now he has chosen it over you. Porn can be considered as cheating since it has infected your husbands mind to the point where a regular gal won't do only an air brushed one. In the bible if your man cheats it is grounds for divorce. God is showing you what to do now stop making excuses and get on with it.
we are all sinners and born into sin I'm not sure what your husbane belives but watching porn is the same as adultry in Gods eyes which is also grounds for divorce(corinthians) but it does state it is baetter to work things out. But if you cant then divorce may be your only option


Try looking at the core of your problems and also get advice from a trused pasta you need to tell all
Maybe his values aren't the same as yours . . . sad for him . . I would get counseling as it may at least help you to come to a decision for what is best for you
Your right, God hates divorce but you didn't mention if your husband is a believer or not. There are scriptures stating that if a nonbeliever wants to leave that you should let them in order to be at peace(Not to say don't try). If he is a believer then you must go to your pastor and counsel with them. Do not use secular marriage counselors....it must be someone from the church...after all, you wouldn't go to a secular thinking individual to make a Biblical decision, right? Hope this helps, God Bless.
Well scripture makes it really clear by writing ';husband and wife are to be 2 as 1'; so that's what you need to work on. That means you need to make some changes to suit his needs. You didn't really make him sound like a religious man, so you need to come to some sort of compromise w/ him. Please dint try to cram scripture down his throat..when you two have a strong relationship (2 as 1) then he will come around to God.


It was very interesting reading how you wrote about praying to God to restore your marriage,fasting then the biggest ';eye opener'; was when you wrote ';why is he letting this happen'; God doesn't let things like this happen..we do! Its great and all to ask him for things, but we also have to follow his plan/path and do his work..you will have to get your hands dirty and work ,work ,work! You have a baby involved and just your feeling to aside and just communicate w/ him..try not saying anything negative when he talks just listen (even if it hurts you) then work on those flaws..even if its your flaws. Just keep praying to God to give you the words,wisdom when speaking to your husband.
Your question and its possible answers have nothing to do with religion. A marriage is a legally recognised contract. Like any other contract, it can be dissolved if one or both parties no longer wish to be bound by it. If your husband wants a divorce, there is nothing legally you can do to stop him. Even if you refuse to co-operate, he can still get it. So your best bet is to face reality, start eating again and understand that it's demeaning for you to be clinging to a man who has made it clear he no longer wants to be with you.





By the way, I find it insulting to the God you claim to believe in that you would think Him capable of first ';restoring your marriage'; and then yanking it away from you again. I don't go around with a big sign around my neck saying I'm a Christian, but I guess I have a higher opinion of God than you do.
I'm sorry that you had to go through that too. Just don't give up. Keep praying for your Marrage and for your husband.


I have been reading this book called the '; Love Dare'; It's from the movie the Fireproof. And the love dare is a 40 day program that really helps you and your husband. You read one chapter everyday and do what it says at the end of the chapter and then, keep doing what it says to do everyay.. and I really feel like it will help you and your husband.


I have been doing the love dare and I'm on day 3. It has been hard for me, but I think it is totally worth it.


I'm praying for you.
Don't tell God the size of your problems, TELL your problems the size of your God!





Have faith! PRAY! A LOT! and let God do the rest. Try making your husband fall in love with you again. Remember the way you both felt before you decided to get married and try to bring that fire and passion back. What happens many times is that couples will love each other but will not be in love and being in love is what keeps a relationship fully satisfying.





I hope this helps and that your husband can change his mind!





God bless =)
Obviously, you should continue to pray. But remember that prayer works much better if you are truly communicating with God on a regular (at least daily) basis. This should also include a personal Bible study. I'm always inspired by Daniel. Proverbs is also great!





If he is willing to work on the marriage, I encourage the two of you to read the book ';His Needs, Her Needs'; together. I would be willing to bet that the reason he is turning to porn is because one of his five basic needs aren't being met. I seriously cannot stress how helpful this book can be. Even if he isn't willing to read it together, you should read it. I would also advise you to see a CHRISTIAN counselor. Pastors are an amazing resource, but if you feel more comfortable with a psychiatrist, be absolutely certain that they are a Christian. I would even go so far as to ask what denomination they are %26amp; find one that matches yours.





If you want to talk, feel free to e-mail me.
Obviously your beliefs are not as strong as your husbands beliefs. God does not fix things, people do and if you want to starve yourself over this you need some big time help. He wants to go and sooner or later weather you pray or fast or do whatever he is going to leave. Get your head out of your butt and grow up. Stop hanging onto God wants you to do this and do that, how do you know? Did you sit down and have a chit chat with him at your dining room table? If so your husband must have missed that conversation, cause he is telling you he wants out.
you will reap what you sow, god wants us to work hard for what we have, marriage is work and just praying wont take you to where you want to be, maybe you should look at the porn and see what is attracting him to it maybe he needs a little more spice in his life and you are the right person to fulfill that need, maybe the porn is a message from god telling you your husband has needs and you can help him better then the devil, and sometimes doing gods will means not talking about it while you do it, if you are always mentioning gods will he may feel like you feel like your better then him, try telling him how you feel when he watches porn and keep god out of it, he may react better.
Sometimes things just don't work out


You could try marriage counsling just talking it out seeing why this is what he wants


God does not want to see you sufffer you two may not be right for each other but then you could be sometimes all you need is more listening and maybe some counsleing


Yes God does look down on divorce but there is a reason he made divorce because he does not want to see you suffer in a bad realationship!


if your are unhappy you need to get out so you can find someone who is the other match for you!!!!!!!


Please talk to him and try marriage counsleing


Pray and you are in my prays


good luck and





God Bless You!
There is no legal way to prevent him from divorcing you, unless the two of you had a covenant marriage. I am assuming you have discussed this with your pastor and asked him to intercede for you with your husband?





What you should do is get a lawyer to make sure that your rights and the rights of your daughter are protected. And if your husband tells you not to, in this case you don't have to obey him. The second he filed for divorce, he lost the right to order you to obey him. That, and God didn't mean for men to abuse their authority by taking all the assets out of the marriage, leaving the wife and children with nothing. If an order is unlawful, a wife should not obey.





Finally, you can pray for him and pray that he returns to the marriage. If he doesn't, you are not free to remarry, not according to the Bible. Your husband is leaving you in a precarious position and he will be accountable to God for his treatment of you.





Oh and one last thing. Sometimes God says no...and perhaps He is saying no now. Did you pray and fast before your marriage and get a ';yes';? If not, it is possible that God doesn't mean you to be married to this man, not that this gives you permission to remarry.





God bless!
I know what you are talking about, the only thing you can do is trust whatever happens God will provide %26amp; fill the voids. I've been going on 8 years, and basically my husband says he wants it all the time, but won't follow through with it, says he doesn't like me even as a person or doesn't know how he feels. At least he can be a man and tell you. I am having to make the decision to stay, which is what I want, or to leave which is what he want %26amp; won't just do %26amp; stop hurting me.
i'm a Christian, yes God hates divorce, He is always on the side of forgiveness and marraige, Of course your husband can stop it, anything is possible with God. i hope you are commited in a solid bible preaching church, remain in it, no matter what, ask the pastor to come to your home, talk to your husband, ask others to pray about it.


Marriage is under attack from satan. Stay in prayer, do not separate again, satan will use it to make matters worse. Adam and Eve brought sin into the world you know that, our only hope is to stay faithful.


my husband started with porn, then singles sites then an affair, i am still commited to God and to my husband, I believe now things are working out, God is on the side of forgiveness and marriage, if the spouse is willing to stay and repent. Well even if he doesn't, we know God will never leave nor forsake us. [your husband has a baby girl he loves, well all those girls in porn were somebody's precious little innocent girl, now over 90% are drugged to do the porn] he could think about that for awhile.
Your on the right track being devoted to prayer and continue in your faith. Yes I fought the good fight of faith in a similar story and in my case we did separate for two years but never divorced. God can bring you victory in the mist of defeat. You have to let go and let God do it his way however that may be. I'm sure during this time you wont always feel his present working but that's were you are going to have to trust God to be God in your life. Don't fight with your husband about nothing but do stand your ground and God will do the rest. My prayers be with you also. Best Wishes to you.
I feel for you especially the situation that he left you in. I truly believe that he doesn't care anymore. If he did, he would not be looking at porn on the computer. I am not judging him but I truly believe that he is a quitter or else he would not have left you. I hope things get better for you. I wish you the best. God knows what you need right now more than anything. I truly believe with all my heart that you need Him right now because He wants to comfort you. Matthew 5:4 says Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. I know with all my heart that God will comfort you. Good luck in the future.
How childish. Majority of males look at porn whether single, taken, or married. It's Sad that you have let that become such a huge factor in your marriage to point your ruining your own life. God will not help you because you need to help yourself. Stop looking for someone else do things for you and grow up. Fix your own problems.
Fundamental Christian divoce at a rate of 34%, while we poor, misguided atheits only have 20% divorce rates.





Statistically, thers is a very high possibility you will divorce.





Wrap your head around something intellectual and forget the god nonsense. It isn't helping you.
Yes I am the biggest Christian ever! Praise the lord.





So first of all, I think you should experience some side action before the divorce....that way it's more satisfying for you.
You're blaming your problems on GOD. God wants you to fix yourself first and learn your lesson because you're obviously doing something wrong