Need advice, was ';raped'; by best friend's husband.?

This is going to seem like the craziest story, because it is!. I guess I'll start at the beginning. Basically i was staying in a hotel room with another friend, my best friend and her husband. We are all young between the ages of 22-26. We were at a wedding that night and all got pretty drunk. My 2 friends and I ended up pretty much passing out in our room while my friends husband stayed up hanging out in another hotel room. I guess I fell asleep on the bed with my friend. From what I've gathered, the husband passed out in the other hotel room and was brought back by some friends (he was reeeaally drunk). I woke up in the middle of the night to someone's hands down my pants! I was still really drunk and didn't open my eyes, I couldn't believe what was happening and was scared. At the time I thought it was this other guy that we had met at the wedding. He proceeded to pull down my pants and have sex with me. it lasted a minute at the most I think. He then pulled my pants back up and I slipped back to sleep. I remember thinking OMG, I am being raped! But I guess I was so drunk I didn't have much control. The sickest part is I know my best friend was in bed right next to me while this was happening. I woke up really early in the morning to my frined on the right of me and her husband to the left of me! At this point I remembered being raped, and actually my underpants weren't all the way pulled up. But I still had it in my head that the guy we had met earlier (he had been hitting on me) was the one who had raped me.I got up went to the bathroom, and without getting into too much detail (I am sure someone had had sex with me) I then went back into bed but this time next to my friend not her husband. A few hours later we all woke up and one of the first things I asked was what time the husband got back to the room. I was sure that the guy had been in there before the husband got back. But I was told that there was no way the creepy guy had been in our room that night because it was only us 3 girls when we went to bed and then the husband came back a few hours later. At this point, i realized that it very well could have been my best friends husband who raped me!!!!


I have no idea what to do about this or even what exactly happened. I don't want to start making assumptions or accusations and possibly break up my friendship. But at the same time I need answers and to understand if it really was him, whether he remembers doing it, if he thought I was his wife or what!!! I am kicking myself for not fighting it when it happened but at the same time am almost glad in a way because I don't know what would have happened if I had fully woken up and caught him doing it. This girl is literally my best friend in the world and I was also really good friends with her husband. I would never in a million years think of him as being consciously capaple of raping me or anyone like that....but now I don't know! I thought I could just forget about it and move on but I cannot stop thinking about it and am worried if I keep it a secret it will tear me up inside.Need advice, was ';raped'; by best friend's husband.?
Hmm, If I were on a jury. I would not convict the guy for rape. I'm not trying to diminish what happened to you, but there is so much reasonable doubt here. You're not sure if it was him (but, it probably was). You're not sure if the guy was so drunk, he thought you were his wife (unlikely, but possible). You never protested what he was doing and he may have lacked the ability to tell if you were completely passed out or just lying there and quietly accepting it. It's hard to tell if his intent was to rape you or just cheat on his wife right in front of her. The fact that he did it with her lying next to you shows that he had very, very diminished capacity to know exactly what he was doing. You never told him no or tried to stop him or struggled against him (but that's not your fault either, if you were that drunk). So it wasn't a case of blatant rape. The only thing left is the fact that he had sex with an unresponsive person. Having sex with an unresponsive woman is usually considered rape, but was he really aware that you were unresponsive? Could he even make that call in his state. I had sex like that one time, with a friend of my sister's, when I was a teenager. She was pretending to be asleep, when I started messing around with her and she never tried to stop me. By the end of it, she was moving her body in time with me and helping me and grabbing onto and pulling me into her and getting excited. But my case was much different. She had been flirting with me for days and I was totally sober when I stood in the doorway looking at her. My mind was clear. I could tell that she knew I was standing there. She was just faking sleep at first and she was actually moving her body into suggestive poses, and brushing back the covers to encourage me to go for it. We were both 16 years old and she kind of wanted me to be her boyfriend after that. This guy might have thought the same thing about you. He might have thought you were open to it, but you wanted to act like your were asleep or passed out. But he might have been too drunk to see that it was all in his mind. Because of reasonable doubt, I could not put the guy away for rape, even though he might be an adulterer and a jerk. There are just too many unknowns. But one thing is clear. You have done nothing wrong and you don't deserve to feel bad about this. It is a tough question. Don't keep it a complete secret. Don't let it tear you up. Seek counseling. You may have to confront your friend or leave the friendship for good. Do Not Just Bottle Up Your Feelings. Talk to a professional.Need advice, was ';raped'; by best friend's husband.?
I think you should tell your friend or ask her husband if he did it or you will have to live with this serect your whole life.=]™”
Don't drink alcohol. Crisis averted.
You should really talk to someone about this like your parents and i would press charges againts them.
Crazy things happen when your drunk, thats why I SAY: ';Hey kids don't drink alcohol!';
maybe u should go get tested to make sure ur ok and if u have any evidence then tell ur friend so that she doesn't stay with that rapest!
Contact RAINN. Seriously. You need more help than we can give you here.
Honestly, I don't think the husband did it. No guy is that sleazy to sleep with an unconscious woman with his wife right there. And, if the husband has acted normal towards you ever since, then it wasn't him. If the husband was passed out, anyone could have taken his key and entered the room.
Your story is a crock of crap. You know exactly what went down and your here looking for sympathizers to make you feel better. I have never been too drunk to know where I was putting my pecker. I have also never met a woman too drunk to know whats up. If you were that drunk, you would suffer a black out and not even know you had sex. The fact you can describe in such detail the encounter, says you were able to scream, kick, and fight. His wife is laying right next to you and you don't wake her up and say: ';Excuse me, but I think your husband is laying me';.You liked it and you don't want your friend to know. Nobody that feels like they were truly ';raped'; acts like you do.
I would take her aside and ask her again if anyone else was in the room, and than tell her why. Just tell her that someone put their hand down your pants and than had their way with you. She may ask him again if anyone else was in the room. I think you should go to the hospital and have a rape kit done on you. Than file a police report. All you can say is what happened and you don't know who did it, but you do know who was in the room. If no one else was there than you know it was him. For all you know she could have had her hand down your pants and let him do that to you while you were out. If you were that drunk that you don't know exactly what went on, you could have been having a threesome and don't remember it. You need to seriously tell her what you remember happening.