My husband and I had a huge fight. Need advice?

I think he is depressed. His job is on the line. And he's taking it out on me emotionally. He says that if he didn't have to bring our 7 yr old boy to school and 3 yr old son to the daycare , he wouldn't be late everyday. But the truth of the matter is he wakes up too late for work. I wake up an hour and a half or 2 hours before I have to leave for work, he wakes up maybe an 30-45 minutes before he has to be at work. Even on the days that he has to take our boys somewhere. He's always had a problem with lateness. So now he is depressed, living out his car, and filled with anger. He doesn't even have a change of clothes with him and washes up out of the sink at his job. He sleeps in his car ouside of his job at work and leaves his cell phone off which is


irresponsible. We live 3000 miles away from my family and have noone else in town. So if anything happens I can't get in touch with him. I'm a pharmacist and work 12 hour shifts far over 60 miles from home he only picks up the boys after work and leaves when I get home. He always dealt with his problems this way. Since I support the family when he gets into these moods I think he feels embarassed being at home. He doesn't make much, he's at the beginning of his career so I pay for almost allthe bills.My husband and I had a huge fight. Need advice?
Why is your husband living in his car??? Anyway your information seems to indicate this is a pattern of behavior. I don't think your husband is too concerned about his job if he is wearing the same clothes to work everyday. Could it be he already lost his job and is too embarrassed to tell you? Could he have a mistress and is expressing his guilt by getting angry? I don't know but i think your husband needs to be evaluated by a mental health professional. Talk to him in a loving way and offer to help him. Let him know that you love him and that eventually he will be able to provide more financial support for his family if he sticks with his job. Encourage him to seek help and even go with him for support if he needs it.





Good luck.My husband and I had a huge fight. Need advice?
Well, you're right. It's about finding the balance of making your family work. Meanwhile, just try to do positive things that shake off depression. Exercise. Do fun things together. And don't forget romance. Everyone is having a tougher time these days. It's important to realize it won't always be that way.
Tell him that he will not blame you or your children and his attitude will change right now. He is the one to blame for being late and he needs to get off his butt and wake up earlier. If he looses his job, it will be his fault and his fault only.
I admire your hard work that you are doing to support your family, your two boys, your husband, utilities, etc. He may feel bad because you are making more than him. Maybe some counseling will help. I hope things get back to normal. Good luck.
Yea i agree...spend time together,go for walks and stuff.


its time to spend some time with each other....times are hard for


everyone so try to shake off stress and depression with excercise and activities together as a family.
OMG i feel so sorry for u but u sound like a very stronger and brave women and i hope everything get better but sorry i can not offer much help with this one just keep being strong it will pay of someday
Ok I am a sad bitter old divorced *****. But even I know that you are kicking someone when they are down. Men are not a pay cheque they have to be respected and loved and thought about as a person, the same way you do and not just as a nanny. Something is not right here ...do you give a damn if he may not be well ...maybe depressed...do you give a damn..really. Maybe instead of asking your computer you could ask the man you married.!!!!!
I am assuming that since you are married, have kids and still care %26amp; love him since you are asking for advice. I really think you need to take steps to improve the situation. Make an attempt to see if you can get some help and counseling for him, this sounds like it has gotten very serious and some professional help is needed. Best of luck, I wish the best for you and your family.
Its clear that he is feeling worthless and feels intimidated b/c you are the one who brings in the main income. I think that you need to get a babysitter and spend an evening together, yes this will entail making time since you work 12 hour shifts. You both are so wrapped up in work and your problems that you have been leaving each other out. Couples need time to talk, reconnect, be alone..





Let him know that you need his support and that you are willing to help. Bring him to the 20th century where women can be the bread maker nowadays. His ego is hurting...Let him know that you are very grateful for him being there for his boys and that is a responsibility that he is meeting. So that is a good + for him. You can also suggest that he try to get up early to take boys and get to work on time. Or if possible both of you can alternate weeks in taking them to daycare.


If all fails then try therapy. But most importantly let him know that you LOVE him. So put the boys to bed early and spend a nice night together... Even just watching a movie, as tired as you both are, make time, after all work seems to be both your priorities.. Why not each other.


Remember you both need to find time and I think that is what you both need to reassure one another and show once again that you both can support one another. It takes 2 babe!
Well, I had the same experience too. He would make us all late for work. I finally got a job with the Department of Interior and ended up losing it because I was late. I would wake up 2 hrs. earlier and get myself and 4 kids ready. He'd wake up 30 minutes before work started. We only have one car. He'd get mad because I would ask him to take me on to work first. He got mad at me because I lost me job. I told him it was our/your timing. I'm not working now. But he still does the same thing. He handles his problems the same way I assume yours does. But see he never had to do anything before we got together. But now he has a family he has to support. He was so used to being a momma's boy, he don't know how to act with it all.Maybe try talking to him about this. Say it really effects the family and it would be nice to have a good morning. Maybe try a counseling, because there is always something behind it, it seems. I'm sorry I can't help you that much, because I'm on here also trying to ask for advice. Good Luck!
I noticed you said ';He always dealt with his problems this way.'; That's a huge red flag! At this point I would suggest marriage counseling and counseling for him as a individual. It sounds like he has learned to ignore and run away from his problems. He needs to learn to embrace his responsibilities and become a man. He made vows to you and he owes that to you, when he asked to marry you he was swearing to take care of you, that means emotionally also. Communication is one of the biggest parts of a relationship. Make sure you're not putting off the wrong impression. The fact that he tries to ignore you and your family definately puts your relationship in a red zone. Take the situation carefully and try your best to listen to what he's saying to you. I'm giving you titles of books I'm reading or have read. I hope they help. And for the sake of your children I hope this all works out. They see everything. I wish you the best of luck my friend!