HELP NEED ADVICe!!! what do i do I have been with my husband seven very long years.?

we have two children together. one three year old and one 1 year old. it has been getting really bad we just do not get along anymore. We are always fighting. over the stupidiest things. I do not like my kids seeing this. But i do love him withall my heart. HELPHELP NEED ADVICe!!! what do i do I have been with my husband seven very long years.?
Are u both having financial or sexual problems?


Are u both in depression?


It can coze lot of fights between u and him.





Never think about divorce now. It's the easiest part and u can do it whenever u want. Just try to save ur family for now. Try the thing u didn't and which is very necessary.


U need a brake for a while. Live separate for a while and the situation will become clearer.


Sometimes couples just need to miss each other. A little brake will brig every thing together again.


I'm sure u both love each other, so try it first for u and him and for ur children as well. Just go for a holyday or to ur mom for a while and just LET HIM TO MISS U. Don't call him all the time and try to relax a bit.


I'm sure u'll be very fine :)


Good luck!HELP NEED ADVICe!!! what do i do I have been with my husband seven very long years.?
Start to change the patterns of what is causing the stress and take yourselves back to where you were when you in love and the world was your oyster. Having children takes the free time - so you have to find minutes, hours as you can to show each other how much you still love one another, how much each of you appreciates the other one. DO NOT focus on whats wrong - focus rather on the reasons you fell in love with that person. Start small %26amp; counseling does help - as the children grow, your free time starts to return and minutes %26amp; hours become days or overnight getaways or even trips. Life an dlove are very hard, but well worth the effort if given!
Go to marriage counseling either with him or by yourself if he won't go. A marriage counselor will help you discover the root issues in your marital problems and help you learn to communicate better. Some insurance plans cover marriage counseling too. My best friend and her husband are seeing one for his infidelity and their insurance has been paying 90% of the bill.
Get some counseling. If he will not go with you, then you go yourself. You might learn new ways to handle the confrontation without making it into a full blown argument that your kids witness.
If you REALLY love each other then it may be a matter of boredom in the bedroom or relationship.


Sit down together and have a productive fight. In other words, deep, honest and open discussion.


Each of you could make a list of the issues,problems you perceive and then each of you list the positive things you perceive with the relationship and each other.


You might exchange the list read the list then pick a time (away from the kids) to discuss your perceptions and which points you agree to make changes or compromises. Then really work on or at them.


See how many items each are able to move from the negative to the positive sides. Then make an assessment to see if/how much you each feel it would/has improved the relationship.


I hope you don't feel that I am pointing fingers,I try not to, just some suggestions.


Good Luck and I am sure that as Loving Adults you can/will salvage the salvage and not have the marriage becoming another statistic and the kids end up with a broken home. After all it is the children that will most be affected.
see a councilor and designate some me and your time let grandma watch the kids and spend a night on the town you just need an escape from parenthood
Couples theraphy.. that might be your last resort before taking a break from each other but not necessarily divorce.
not married but been with man for 10 yrs this year.


(The same is happening for us.)


i suggest marriage counselling if he's open to it.


i also suggest you take time out for yourself (a wkend maybe) - to really sort out your feelings and needs.


i am reading a book at the moment ';this book will save your life'; by A M Homes. (i'm not that impressed but there is a lady in a similar situation to yours in there and i think she is liberating herself a bit.....not finished it yet.)


hope it works out
he obviously isnt bringing home enough money to suit your accustomed lifestyle. leave him and take the kids.
sit down talk about it stop fighting! your kids will grow to be just like you, fighting all the time!! so you should stop
Couselling, both couples's therapy, and one on one therapy.





Try having 'date night', no kids, just you and he try to reconnect as adults, not parents.





And get to the root of the fighting. What's it really about?
If there were no kids, I'd say divorce. But you should make an effort to fix things, simply for the sake of your kids. Obviously, if it's bad enough that you absolutely hate each other, you can't go on. Raising kids in a poisonous environment like that would not be good. But if there's still something worth saving, try to do so. Try to talk with him, but not in an accusatory manner. Start the conversation like, ';Something's wrong here. We're not happy anymore. What can we do?'; You might also try marriage counseling.
Relationships die when both or one person can't effectively communicate what's wrong. When the communication breaks down, we start to ';project'; our needs. If you can you both need to focus on the words or the intent of the message. The issue is never the dumb things, the issue is something more deep down.
Get counseling. You'll always see the grass greener on the other side, but until you guys can work this out, it's never going to get any better for either of you, even a divorce.
You need to realize if you think 7 years is a long time you need to reevaluate what you think LOVE is its not just playing house making babies and then lifes peaches and cream it gets harder as it goes and you have to work at keeping the LOVE alive try to spend more one on one time with your husband dump the kids on grandma or someone and enjoy what you two used to share before the kids and I think you might find that its just the lack of the private time you used to share that is missing find out what a fantasy of his or yours is and try to act on it youll be surprised the good it will do and good luck Ithink your up tight and need to GET SOME !!!!!!!!!!
Unless the Lord builds the house,


they labor in vain who build it...';


Ps. 127:1
Well, first of all 7 years is not that long at all. I hate to say it, but you could try couseling. If you are not open to that, then start with why you two got married to begin with. Something about him and something about you made him fall in love with you and want to spend the rest of your lives together. Be optimistic, think about the good qualities he does have. Focus on those. Is he a good father? Does he make you laugh? Does he satisfy you in any way? If you really want to work things out and not divorce, you both have to be willing to work on these things. It's so easy to be negative and find fault in people, but everyone has something that they can say is good about another person. Maybe you could try making a list for each other. Say what you really like about each other and focus on those things. A marriage takes work and you both have to want to work things out. Church and prayer never hurt anyone either! Find God and put him in the center of it and everything else will work itself out. I will be praying for you. Good luck! I hope everything works out for you.
Since you know is the stupidiest thing.. why fight?????


Why can't both of you just LAUGH it off????


Perhaps you may want to confide in each other that it is stupid and apologise to one another and MOVE on.





It is not worth it to affect your marriage over STUPID issues..





take care
Don't worry...it the ';Seven Year Itch';





Work it out...See a counselor...


Leave the kids with the relatives, take an exotic vacation together (a second honeymoon)....





Turn the passion of fighting (of hate) and turn it (back) into the passion of love.





Good luck.
Sounds like you need two things, one a vacation with just you and your husband, even if it is only a weekend and two, some marriage counseling to help you get to the bottom of why you are fighting all the time. Good Luck.
I was in the same boat not but 2 weeks ago.I also married for 7 years and two small children(4yrs and 20mths).I had all i could handle.I left back in Jan.and filed for divorce.Well i got lucky.Me and my children leaving made my husband change for the better.Two weeks ago,we both decided to go to counseling and we go this month.i guess what I'm saying is you have to go with your gut instinct.If you leave keep you head high and things will happen for a reason.You are the only one that can make this decision.