I need advice on how to talk to my husband about my concerns?....?

OK first of all i love my husband to death i think that's y he knows he can get away with a lot of things but the truth is in 07 he cheated on me and now he hasn't cheated on me that i know of but there is this girl that used to be my friend and now she is after him i know some people think i should be over it but I'm not its bothers me every time i look at him.





Ok here goes my husband met when he as dating my best friend in high school she went out with him cause she knew i liked him. i called him one day and started talking to him because my friend told me to and it just happened to where we ended up together. Then he was like the bf everyone has at 1st you know the roses cards chocolate etc.. but then in 07 he cheated on me with a girl where he used to work for about a month then i found out, he ended up quitting his job and now he has another job. Now I'm in college and he works we have a 1 yr old lil girl and another on the way just to let you know. Anyways i had this friend in college she is trying to get to him and he knows it cause i made the mistake in telling him. so one night we had a party at a friends house and she was there talking to him and he had his back towards me the most of the night i stopped talking to her and he got mad cause he said me and her were friends and we stopped cause of him. he is a VERY VERY VERY FRIENDLY guy and gets along very good with girls even in front of me....and he has some friends that he talks to on the phone...he also has a myspace and he has all his friends that are girls on there..sometimes it makes me feel like he talks to other girls besides he wants to be free and do what he wants...i guess what i want to know is how do i talk to my husband and get him to understand that i don't like it that he talks to girls cause i feel like he is going to cheat on me and im guessing its my fault to cause my self esteem is so low but i don't trust him at all....and he knows that...i love my husband very much and most of the time he is an awesome person to be with its just these little things that both me..how can i learn to trust him?.. and what can i say to get him to understand me?... thanks in advance..no rude answers please...I need advice on how to talk to my husband about my concerns?....?
and what... prey tell.... does this have to do with MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE?????








TROLL ALERT..... TROLL ALERT......TROLL ALERT.








cut and paste.... and try again.I need advice on how to talk to my husband about my concerns?....?
you just have to tell him......no other way if not he will never understand how u feel
It sounds like his behavior through the years has been pretty consistent. I can't help but wonder why you would marry someone like that, and then complain about how he acts. Leopards don't change their spots.





Why do you think your jealousy and insecurity are unreasonable? If you think that there is anything that you can say that will make him change, I am afraid you are in for a disappointment.





I understand that people like him are ';awesome'; to be with - when they want to be. The rest of the time they are tearing your guts apart.





As long as he feels free to do his thing - you are going to suffer. If you try to rein him in, he will rebel.





I hope that you have a good attorney, because unless you are content to put up with his playboy lifestyle, you are going to need one. Good luck.
I hope this doesn't sound rude, but you told him your friend was trying to hit on him and his reaction was to spend the whole night at a party talking to her?


He's cheating on you. Maybe not with her. Maybe not right now. But he's definitely a cheater. You caught him once, but I guarantee that's not the only time.


I don't really know what the solution is. One approach you can try is to tell him that you really value fidelity and monogamy, and you do feel like he still gives off the vibes (and you can say ';whether you realize it or not';) that he is available, through MySpace and even with your friends that you warned him about. Tell him your marriage is important but you really need to work on this issue together. And get some counseling. Maybe you'll find out that there are things you can do, too to improve the relationship. But he's got to be willing to work on it.
Couples counseling and maybe some individual counseling for you as well. You need to work through the past so you can get on with your future. Love is not enough, you must have trust too.





As far as not being friends with some one because of him...that is perfectly fine. My husband and I had some very close friends (a couple) until one night when we were all drunk ';she'; crossed a line, acted inappropriately, said she was in love with my husband, etc. It made me uncomfortable and my husband (being a mature adult) agreed it was time to end the friendship.





Your husband may have low self-esteem too.





You really need to communicate with each other. Your marriage may depend on it.
You need to tell him how you feel. Let him read this and all the responses. That is what I did with my husband. Good luck! But, I think you are having issues trusting him because he has lost your trust and had not done what is necessary to regain it.
I love you very much and even though things have happen in the past that has given me reason not to trust you, I have decided to stay with you and work through it. However, I do not like the fact that you surround yourself with women. It makes me uncomfortable and everytime I think about it, I am taken back to the moment I found out that you were cheating. I want you to delete your MySpace account, for I see no reason to have an excess of female friends when you are married. I also would like for you to stop being so friendly to the friend that you know is interested in you. I need you to do these things so I can put full faith and trust in you. I do not think I am being unreasonable and if you think I am, please tell me how.





THIS SHOULD BE A GOOD START IMO. Good Luck. Oh and until you get this all figured, don't have any more children by him.
it is never wise for him to put himself into temptation. the bible says dont give the devil a foothold.


other women in his life mean trouble,
Would it be rude to point out that the way you got him was to ';steal'; him from your ';best friend'; who he was dating at the time? In other words, you encouraged him to be unfaithful to her. You reap what you sow. Of course he's not trustworthy - you helped to make him become that way.