Advice to help my best friend whose husband cheated on her?

I got a rather disturbing phone call from my best friend today. Her and her husband have been married for 3 years, and have 2 year old twin boys. He owns his own business, and one of his ex co-employees, told her this morning that her husband cheated on her. To fill you in a little they live in North Carolina, about 7 months ago when she came home to Michigan to visit, he called her and told her that he had been thinking about divorce and that maybe she should just stay up here, they talked for awhile, worked things out, and decided to give it another shot. Once she went back she started finding things that made her think that he was or had been cheating, but every time she would ask him he would adamantly deny it. I even backed him up, saying that I could never imagine him cheating on her. Today she confronted him about what the ex-employee had told her and at first he denied it, when she told him that she had names and phone numbers he confessed that he had cheated on her while she was up her 7 months ago, he also confessed that he had been using meth. She is completly shattered and distraught, and I obviously don't blame her. I mean, I'm beyond pissed off and upset myself, I can't imagine what she is going through. I just wish that I knew what to say. She doesn't want to just leave the marriage, yet she doesn't think that she will ever be able to forgive him for it either. Is there any advice I can give her? What would you do in her shoes? Please help me out here! Thanks!Advice to help my best friend whose husband cheated on her?
for starters you need to be her vent friend. she's going to go through alot of emotions...seriously..from anger,sad,depressed...etc.





don't take sides...tell her she has to do what's best so she won't have any regrets later...it's her call on what she needs to do..but don't take sides.





tell her to not tell her friends or family because they will take sides..the reason I say thing because if things work out the family and friends will always judge him..etc.





I can tell you from my own experience...this is going to be one of the toughest situations you will ever see your friend in ever in her life possibly. Call her and check on her from time to time so she can vent...she'll just ramble on..etc..won't make sense..etc...let her do so.





slowly recommend counseling....remember don't take sides and keep the ';there is always hope'; attitude going with here.





your friend has my complete condolences for I have been in here shoes and it was a long dark lonely road man. The pain goes away but the scars are there for life with me, but I made it to the other side.





she can too. If you are a christian then you know what you have to do. show mercy, forgive, pray for serenity and strength...her mind is about to kick into overdrive man and it's going to be rough for awhile. Advice to help my best friend whose husband cheated on her?
just lend her your shoulders. she'll need them when she is crying. it's cliche but things will get better. give it time. tell her to hold her head high.
If she didn't get this phone call it would have never surfaced...he was never planning on telling her...i would say he is still doing it and if he is also using drugs that just makes it easier for him to escape what he is doing...She needs to protect herself and re evaluate the relationship, is it worth saving? Can he be forgiven? and most important Can she trust him? because life is short and does she want to waste more precious time with someone and have goals with someone who doesnt value her and their family needs together ?oh, and what about the kids? Thats all they need...I would suggest just listen...and be a shoulder. Let her make her own decision. Be her friend. and be encouraging.
The above two answers are right. Stay with your friend through the entire process. Divorce sounds like where this relationship will go because of the distrust and drug problem. But to be sure that divorce is the right move, see a marriage counselor. Both sides of the story must be truthfully told and whether both parties are prepared to fix the problem or not. If a marriage counselor is not something that can be afforded, you can try a church minister.





Your job is to remain at the side of your best friend and take the initiative to seek help.
Her best bet is to get counseling before making final decisions.





My guys ex was a meth addict and that had more to do with ending their marriage than the cheating that may or may not have occurred. The thing is, you only hear one side of what is going on while a counselor gets both sides (usually).





As far as what you can do, you can be there for her and listen to her. Other than getting counseling, keep your advice to yourself AND do not gossip about what she shares with you (you would be amazed how many big mouths are out there). Do not hurt her more than she already has been. I also agree with the poster below. Do not talk to her family or other friends. If they work things out, the family is likely to cause more problems.
well first off id say the using meth is a lot worse than the cheating..you can quit cheating most of the time but the meth can ruin every thing and id say that is probably what is going on now..most meth users don't care about no one but themselves..it can ruin lots of family's and put them in the poor house....cheating don't mean he don't love her it just means he was wanting sex from someone else..sex don't mean love and sex is not what a marriage is built on....everyone has problems and things to work through id be more worried about the drugs than having a little sex with someone....most time when one cheats something is not going right at home any ways. and the communication has broken down and till you can have that communication and talking and wanting to make each other happy it wont work any ways...getting a little nookie from someone else is not the end of the world and not the end of their life...its just the decision she has to make...and what he wants to do also.........like i said id be a lot more conceraned about the drugs.

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