So is there any opinions or advice anyone can give me??
that would be a big help :)
thanks for your timeBeen married for 20 years.... Cant seem to talk to my husband we fight ALL the time. Any ADVICE?
I think it's time to get out.Been married for 20 years.... Cant seem to talk to my husband we fight ALL the time. Any ADVICE?
You should feel comfortable voicing your opinion to your spouse. If you try to talk to him in a calm manner and that results in him yelling at you, then there's a problem. You shouldn't have to ';shut up and not say anything'; to your husband.
Why he's like this could be a result of the way he was raised, low self esteem, anger management issues, or a wide variety of other things. What you need to know is that you shouldn't have to put up with it.
Yes, you've been married a long time, but if this is a serious problem for you, you may want to let your spouse know that you want to go to counseling or you won't participate in the marriage any longer. Everyone deserves to be able to voice their opinion in a relationship.
I'm sorry you're in this situation. From what you've got here, it sounds like your husband may have some anger issues. Have you thought about any sort of anger management or marriage counseling? That may be your best choice. A relationship is a cooperation between two people, and it sounds like your marriage is being very one sided at the moment. Try writing a note to him. Tell him how you feel. Try not to accuse him of anything, just make it personal. Tell him you aren't happy not being able to talk to him without a fight. Tell him why you fell in love with him. Sometimes notes are better, because people don't get as emotional as they do in a face-off.
Sounds like bad communication to me. you should have a say in whatever it may be because you both married each other therefore you both should be able to make your opinions heard. It sounds like you need to calmly site down and tell him whats on your mind and tell him you can't really voice your opinions because he is always shutting you down (making you be quiet). If that doesn't work, seek counseling or he needs to get anger management or something of that sort.
If he's always been this way, then I suggest counseling or leaving. You can't live like that and have joy in your life. It's like walking on eggshells. If it's a new behavior it could very well be that he is involved with someone else. Irritable and nasty behavior to a spouse is characteristic of someone that doesn't want to be in the relationship because they are always thinking of someone else. Their constant picking about how naggy you are, or how stupid, or how you have nothing important to say is an excuse to justify their cheating behavior.
Kill him kindness, he loves to argue it seems so don't give into that, walk the other way, let him win and he will soon realize that being right all the time is not always a good thing... Laugh it off, diminish him by not being drawn into silly arguments, pick the ones you can win only and you will be fine.
ask him to go to counseling if not you need to look out for yourself. He does not respect you or value you as his wife. Another question I would ask myself is he or has he been faithful? I've been through that and my husband (ex now) was cheating on me. Stand your ground dont listen to his belittling of you. Your opinions and feelings are important even if they are not to him.
I went through the same thing and I put in 100% everyday and tried and tried. After 4 years I finally got a divorce (just a month ago) and I am more happy and stress free now then ever, so what I say is keep trying until you know you've done every ting you could do so that when you leave you won't have that weight on your shoulders of ';Maybe I didn't try hard enough,'; because if you did and nothing helped and you leave, you will be much happier. REMEMBER YOU NEED TO HAPPY IT'S YOUR LIFE.
i say that if you love him maybe you can get him to calm down and listen to your opinion but if not than you need to get out of there women need to always be heard with our voice and not just with our bodies.
power 2 women
i too married 20 there are red flags everywhere when there is no communication, sit down with ur hubby without attitude and tell him u need marriage counseling then either he goes and help save the marriage or you go alone and start healing, we went to our pastor go to urs first.
Sounds as if he's pretty much set in his ways. Once a man is set in his ways it's impossible to get him to come around to a different point of view.
Get counseling. Even if he wont get it with you. You will need it to help you with your divorce. That this was acceptable behavior for 20 years speaks to your need to heal yourself.
Get counseling.
Get yourself a vibrator!!!
It is up to you to change this,Try giving your opinion in a different way maybe?
Leave him he is abusive.
or leave him
from the sound of it, it seems he is a creature of old bad habits. pack your bags go stay with family for a week and tell, TELL him you are tire of this road, if he can't TALK to you, or simply understand you're a person you might want to seek another direction, he will throw all the facts at you and act a damn fool, but when he gets in from work and you aren't there he will begin to think it all over. and you will have the opportunity to assess where your relationship is. These will make him reevaluate your marriage and dedcide what the hell he's there for. Be advised this might not be the outcome you want, but after 20 yrs, i would think you would want to know where ya'll stand! then make him promise before you come home to go to counseling, he seems old school. remember when you hit counseling not to dog him or degrade him, he confides in you( or should at least). never chop your man down in public even behind a counselors doors, you will lose more than you bargain for.
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