and how i should be feeling for my kids when they find out that there daddy (whom they can rarely get ahold of, let alone, talk or see him) and he lives only a few blocks away!!!!!!!!!!!) is going to have a new baby to love and play with and all that stuff that mommys and daddys do with their kids THAT THEY LOVE? any advice, cuz i want to kick her down some stairs, and smack his face off! nobody can make him spend time with his children, and no body can make him love them either, but why the hell did he have to be such a let down in our lives? i was 19!! when i got with him and now, i am 32, and he is 38 now (25 then) ! i wish i could have seen the storm before the rain, cuz look at me, im all washed up-----im way older, been a wife and stayed at home all of these years, to end up with a daddy for my babies like HIM? i feel so responsible at times for his behavior towards the kids, because i chose to get out of the ';empty'; marriage and make a new fresh start w/ me and the kids.My soon 2 b ex-husband %26amp; now ex-bestest friend are pregnant, any advice on how i should b feeling?
Focus on yourself and the kids, not on what the ';ex'; is doing. You have no control over his behavior, and it'll destroy you to obssess about it. Sounds like he's been a part of your life for a long time, it's totally understandable that you can't just ';turn it off'; - but you have to try. If the kids can't have a great daddy - at least don't rob them of a great mommy. Do the best you can. Good luck.My soon 2 b ex-husband %26amp; now ex-bestest friend are pregnant, any advice on how i should b feeling?
No one can tell you how you should feel, your feelings are you own regardless of what anyone tells you.
First things is you can't control what your ex-husband did or does and how attentive or loving he is towards your children.
The only thing I can say is that you should put all your energy into your children and yourself. Focus on your family, give your children even more love and attention.
Stop wasting any negative time or energy on your ex-husband and ex-best-friend, because they surely aren't wasting any on you and are moving on with their lives.
You aren't responsible for how he treats your children just because you left him, it would've been more irresponsible for you to stay in a bad marriage.
A lot of parents are arrogant (or stupid) to think they can hide marriage problems from their children. No matter how young your children are they do have a clue when their parents are not happy and especially if they aren't happy with each other.
While I don't know if you do, but in case... try very hard not to bad mouth your ex or your ex-best-friend to your children or in front of them...even if it's well deserved.
Let your children figure it out for themselves, because they absorb, feel and know more than we think they do.
Okay, let's look on the bright side. You got out of this marriage when you were still young enough, 32, to make whatever changes you need to make: get an education, work on your health, whatever, to have a long, fruitful future.
You cannot change your ex-husband's behavior. And you should never feel responsible for his behavior. But you can be a terrific, happy parent to your children. Concentrate on them and you. Good luck.
Focus on yourself, and your children, i just recently found my hubby in our bed with another female, 2 wks ago, and now hes telling me that shes pregnant. Shes a fat stripper, hows that possible. I left him, moved. He is living in his car with her. How crazy is that? Right now you need to be there for your children, dont worry about him, he made his bed let him lye in it. Obviously your ex friend, was never a friend or she wouldnt have done that to you. Dont waste your time with him. My ex tells me he misses his family, i say awesome, i am not getting back with you. i done filed for divorce.
If you walked out on the marriage, then why do you care who he is with or what they are doing? Are your feelings for him as a father, or as your ex? Perhaps he senses that his children feel about him the way you do. He was obviously a good father to them prior to the divorce...you didn't mention otherwise. It sounds like this is more about you than your kids.
Well, it would be natural to feel confused/betrayed/angry/weary/worried.
How you should feel? You don't ask to feel one way or another, you just do. However you feel, it's okay to feel that way. Right or wrong comes into it when you do something - so make sure you do something you believe is truly right and in the best interests of you and your kids.
First off, make sure child support is included in your divorce. Be ready to go back to court to force him to pay it. You are the protector of your kids.
32 isn't ';washed up,'; but for sure you've been through the wringer, so it's okay to be weary right now. This is all overwhelming. Hang in there - as my mom used to say, ';better is always coming, but the trick is to hang on until it arrives.';
You aren't responsible for what he is or does. Bless him and your ';friend'; for taking two such miserable people out of your life together! Kind of like spring cleaning for your life.
Give yourself a chance to rest a bit and heal, spend time enjoying and loving your kids, then look around and think about where you want to go from here. Don't waste your time or energy on ';what if'; or ';if only.'; When you're leaving the dump, it doesn't pay to look back. Look forward.
You can talk to a counselor at the local community college about going back to school (most can counsel former ';stay at home'; parents about getting back out). You can focus on creating the kind of life for yourself and your kids that you can enjoy and be proud of. They'll learn much more about how to live life from you than your Ex, who is busy being the example of ';how not to do it.';
Let yourself be angry (of course you're angry), then turn that anger into something positive. In that way, you prevent your Ex and his chippy from continuing to control how you live/think/feel. Good luck!
Give the ex time, he'll be a let down to this baby too. You're the best thing that ever happened to your kids.
be glad its not you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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